Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94048 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94048 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
“They were after me,” I confirm. “I heard two of them talking.”
“Right before you killed them?”
“Yep.”
“How is she? Is she okay?”
“In shock. She saw a little too much tonight.”
Elena lets out a long sigh. “Fuck, Simon. This is such a mess.”
“I know. Santoro’s getting aggressive. He smells the conflict I’m having with Dad. He’s going to do something.”
“You think this isn’t it?”
I shake my head against the night. The darkness feels oppressive and I miss the lights of the oasis so damn badly right about now. It’s amazing how much of myself I’ve given over to the Bianco Famiglia and how much of myself I define by my loyalty to the organization. Without the family, I’m absolutely nothing. Maybe that isn’t fair; Emily could be my ticket to a new life. We could turn around and drive the fuck out of Chicago tonight, keep going until I’m too tired to keep going anymore, maybe we could sleep a while and switch over when she wakes up. We could drive until we hit the Pacific Ocean and disappear in some small coastal Oregon town and start wearing a bunch of knit sweaters and shit like that. I could become a lobsterman.
But it’ll never happen. It’s just a fantasy. There are too many people depending on me and I’d never let them down, not unless I were dead. Davide’s out on a limb already and there are too many Capos ready to step up and do the right thing. Even Elena and my mother are on my side in their own ways.
And frankly, I care too much about this city. I love Chicago, my fucking homeland, the only place I’ve ever really cared about. The damn L runs straight through my blood. I want to be with Emily and I want to see what kind of man I could be with her if we could only ditch the pressures molding us into who we are right now, but it won’t ever happen. I’d never do it, and I’d never ask her to do it, either.
“Elena says that wasn’t my father,” I tell her, climbing back into the driver’s seat. I put the truck in gear and start moving again.
“Where does that leave us?”
“We need a place to crash for the night.” I look over at her. “Unless you want to sleep in the truck?”
She leans across the space and puts her head on my shoulder. “I don’t care. I’m fine if I’m with you.”
I slow at a stop sign and kiss her. “We’ll get you a bed, I promise. But after tonight, I need to take care of some things.”
She looks up at me with these big fucking eyes and they’re filled with love, and that nearly breaks me. After watching me kill four men, she’s still looking at me like that, and I wonder if I deserve it.
“Are you trying to get rid of me, Simon Bianco?”
“No, baby, I’d never dream of it, but I do need to stash you somewhere safe while I go do some things that aren’t safe at all.”
She sighs and closes her eyes. “I thought we were past that.”
“We were and then a bunch of men tried to kill us, so we’re back to it.”
“I don’t want you to ditch me.”
“I’m not and I won’t, but I can’t do what needs to be done if I have to worry about keeping you alive too.”
She’s quiet as she absorbs this. “You don’t want me to see you kill anyone else.”
I laugh because yeah, of course I don’t want her to see me kill anyone else, but that’s not my primary concern at the moment.
She gives me a hard look and leans away. “It’s not funny. I know who you are. I mean, I understood when we got married, okay? You have to kill people sometimes.”
“You’re right, I do, but you don’t have to be a part of that.”
“I’m your wife. Shouldn’t we share our lives?”
I snort and shake my head. “Fuck no. I mean, not that part. You were a normal person before I dragged you into my hellhole and now apparently you’re okay with murder.”
“I’m not okay with it. I’m just being realistic.”
“Fucking hell, Emily, you are incredible and also a pain in my ass. I’m dropping you somewhere safe for tonight.”
She crosses her arms. “Fine.”
That’s not what I expected. She’s stubborn as shit and I figured I was in for a protracted argument. “Fine,” I echo, gripping the steering wheel. “I love you.”
“I love you too. And I hate this.”
“Yeah, baby, I hate this too.”
Chapter 44
Simon
I’m sick of stumbling around and waiting for other people to do shit.
That’s what I’ve been reduced to. Just a guy drifting along on the breeze, letting everyone else make decisions while I react to them. But it drives me insane—I was raised to leadership. Which means I need to start leading.