Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 85553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Is he not troubled by resonance at all? Or is he tired of pursuing me?
I could go after him, of course. Demand that he sit down somewhere quiet and talk to me. I could make the first move.
In theory, anyhow. In reality, I’m too tongue-tied. Every time the idea of talking to him crosses my mind, I think about how I grabbed his privates and then ran like a virgin. Maybe there weren’t two. Maybe he was just really big and I mistook girth for two dicks. I obsess over that moment.
Okay, to be fair, I obsess over every moment as I work. I play our conversations back in my head and scan the beach for him even though I tell myself I’m not interested. That I’m going to talk to the healer about shutting things off any day now. That I don’t want him. Or babies. Or resonance.
Truth of the matter is, though…I don’t dislike Skarr.
He’s a blowhard, yes. A braggart and a bit too enthusiastic about violence. He loves attention. We’re complete opposites in that respect. But he’s never been openly unkind to me, just clueless. He’s taken care of me in the past and tried in his own way to be caring.
So no, I’m not as horrified as I was about resonating to him. It just feels complicated, especially after I ran.
Three days pass. Then three days more. Skarr continues to move in different circles than me. We don’t run into each other on the beach.
And all the while, my dreams get filthier and filthier.
After a week of avoiding each other, I wake up just before dawn, aching and aroused. In my dreams, Skarr opened his pants to reveal a line of cocks going down his leg, and I rode every single one of them. It’s a ridiculous, stupid dream that shouldn’t make me wet, but it does. My khui throbs and hums constantly, and I know it’s not helping. I get to my feet and put on my shoes, but when I come out of the tent and see a cluster of people by the fire, I don’t want to join them.
I don’t want to sit by the fire today. Or anyone, today. I just want to be left alone.
So I move to the first person I see that’s preparing to go out hunting. It’s Penny and her big mate, S’bren. She’s got snowshoes in one hand and a spear in another, watching as S’bren straps their toddler into a carrier on his chest. I tap her on the shoulder and give an anxious smile of greeting. “Hi. Do you know if anyone has skis I can borrow?”
Penny blinks at me in surprise. “Skis?”
“Yes. Skis.” I keep my voice casual, as if it’s no big deal to ask for something so I can go off wandering the hills by myself. I’m not worried about danger. I can take care of myself, and in one of my dreams I’d been cross-country skiing through those mountains I’ve dreamed about. “It’s something I’ve done before. I’ll be fine.”
But Penny just gives me a long, thoughtful stare. “Skis.”
“Yes.” Why is this a big deal?
She turns toward Harlow—the freckled redhead—who is beside the fire. “Why don’t we have skis?”
“Skis?” Harlow seems just as surprised.
“Does no one here ski?” I ask in a timid voice. “I thought since there were snowy mountains…”
Penny turns back to me and gives a helpless shrug. “I think most of us are from the south or not sporty. No one has skis.”
Well, that seems rather ridiculous to me. “Oh. I can make some.”
Harlow moves toward us, a thoughtful look on her face. Nadine—one of the women here and a hunter on her own—also seems interested. “I think Liz probably tried to make skis once but no one had any skill with them,” Harlow continues. “But it wouldn’t hurt for us to learn if you know how to use them.”
I just nod.
Nadine wiggles her eyebrows at me. “I am all about some ski action. Can I help?”
“Sure.” I smile at her. Maybe this is what I need—a distraction from Skarr and his avoidance of me. A new task to keep me busy and out of camp so I don’t feel the ache of him missing.
After all, it’s silly to miss someone that’s been thrown at you. I should be glad that he’s not here.
Chapter
Twenty-One
VIVI
“We might have to try a few different sorts of materials before we find the right one,” Nadine says to me as we hike through the snows. Her dark skin glows against her pale leathers, and she looks radiant with excitement. “I’ve got three different things in mind at the moment, so we can gather a little of everything and experiment.”
We’re at the rocky base of the mountains a few hours away from camp, and the landscape changes dramatically, just as I remember. The cove of the beach is protected by high cliffs, but once you get past those, the cliffs continue to scale up and up, the snows growing deeper and the winds more bitter as you get to the base of the mountains proper. I’m starting to get used to the cold weather, and thanks to the khui and my new, better-fitting clothing, it just feels brisk and refreshing instead of life-ending.