Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 285(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 285(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
He was probably serious about the list, so I waited patiently as he checked off the ones he remembered on his fingers. “One aunt, I’ve lost track of that side of the family with all the C names. It’s painful. But one of the older women on that side, Candy or Cassy or someone like that, wanted to know where to hire a hooker. She’s confused about the process but didn’t seem to be deliberately being rude about the job title.”
Lord.
“Two different cousins wanted to make sure you weren’t paying too much because they’ve clearly figured out how to find individuals in that line of business.” Victor shook his head. “Another couple of cousins called to make sure you weren’t spending their inheritance. They seem to be convinced the plan is to divide up your estate if you get hit by a bus.”
When I just raised one eyebrow, he shrugged. “One said bus. The other said falling airplane toilet. I’m not sure what their search history looks like but I don’t think you have to worry about anyone being smart enough to hire a hit man.”
No, but they could find other types of professional help.
“My assistant took one where your mother seemed to be asking if you’d gotten married.” The asshole grinned when I groaned. “She’s not as dumb as the rest of your family.”
Yep, he was an asshole.
“I’m lucky you weren’t the one to take that call.” He’d have laughed and then the crazy would’ve taken another interesting turn.
“I know.” He was already snickering just thinking about it. “She’d have heard too much in my voice.”
Arguing that there wasn’t anything to hear would’ve just made me look guilty, so I ignored his fishing expedition. “I knew Amadeus couldn’t keep his mouth shut but he must’ve activated some kind of gossip phone tree.”
Victor grinned. “He started right at the top and called your grandfather’s housekeeper.”
Well, that explained a few things.
“She’s a pain in the ass.” But she took care of the old fart and they’d been secretly in a relationship since his third wife had died.
Half the family was in the dark and the other half was ignoring the disturbing age difference, but I was going to just avoid learning anything else about their sex life.
“She was very excited to be able to get the good stuff first and evidently Amadeus started there because he wanted your grandfather to know that you were making questionable decisions with your finances and the family restaurants.” Victor was nearly giggling.
His love of gossip was as passionate as the rest of the crazies, which was the reason he’d taken over handling those accounts to begin with. I didn’t like gossip but I also didn’t mind ignoring what questionable families did as long as it didn’t end up with me on some kind of FBI watch list.
Some people made me feel very boring.
“So…” He waved his hand, settling back in his seat again. “I’ve been patient and didn’t even bug Dally for details.”
“You traded numbers with him?” I shouldn’t have been surprised.
“Of course, but he’s been busy with work and we haven’t had a chance to trade stories. So I need something good to be able to one-up him.” Crossing his arms, Victor glared at me. “Milo shares more than you do and I’m going to come in second if I’m not careful.”
Maybe I attracted insanity and it wasn’t just my family?
“Let me think.” I knew to pick my battles with Victor and I wanted to make sure he kept taking my family’s calls. “Milo probably told Dally about the restaurant and the significance. He was very proud of being accused of being a prostitute, so he definitely shared that one.”
Just thinking about our date and his friendship with Dally made me realize there wasn’t anything he hadn’t shared and Dally probably already knew how big my dick was. The way Victor’s face was settling into a frown meant he’d realized that too.
“You can tell Dally that I’m planning on picking Milo up from work so I can talk him into coming back to my place.” Yes, it was fast, and yes, I was probably going to smother him. “He gets off at seven, and as long as he doesn’t safeword, I’m going to spend the evening with him.”
And hopefully the night and morning.
Victor broke out in an ear-to-ear grin. “I win!”
He’d lost his mind.
“I’ve got to go text him before he finds something better.” Nearly jumping out of the seat, Victor bounced to the door like a kid after too much candy. “Oh, and call your grandfather so he knows you didn’t elope. He wants to walk you down the aisle.”
For fuck’s sake.
“Oh, it’s like a scene from Pretty Woman.” Milo’s sighed-out description said he’d already told Dally about the run-in at dinner. “I’d be the best prostitute ever.”