Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 57423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 287(@200wpm)___ 230(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 287(@200wpm)___ 230(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“I’m trying to be true to the Delia I’ve come to know.” She took a deep breath and realized she was going to have to compromise. “I’ll rehearse it with more horror energy, I promise. But I would like a couple of takes where I get to experiment.”
He would use the take he wanted to anyway. He was the kind of director who said he listened to actors and brought them into a collaborative process, but he really just moved them around like chess pieces.
“Sure. But I also want to talk to you about some experiences that will allow you to draw on your own feelings,” he explained. “I’d like to set you up with a therapist who can maybe walk you through some of your recent events.”
“Why?”
“Ally, you’ve had some scary situations happen to you recently, and you’re not using them as fuel. What good is anything if an artist can’t use it?”
Well, it was called life, and not every second of it had to be picked apart and stuck on screen for all to see.
Some things were private. Some moments were only for her and her family.
She never used to think this way. Fucking West.
Life might have been easier BMW.
“I also think you should talk about your experiences,” Jay was saying. “I was surprised you didn’t. No one even knew about what was happening to you until today.”
“Security knew,” she pointed out.
“But your castmates didn’t. Your fans didn’t. These are the most important people in an actor’s life, and you’re cutting them out.”
That felt like an accusation. “I think I put enough of my life out there. Besides, one of the things my security professionals have told me is this guy is hungry for attention. He would love it if I was on the news nightly talking about him. I’m not going to allow him that much space in my life.”
A brow rose over his eyes. “Your security professionals? Or your boyfriend?”
“He’s both.”
“Yes, and he’s had a huge impact on you. That’s quite clear. You aren’t the same actress I hired. You seem much less focused. Honestly, one of the reasons I brought you onto this production was I liked how hungry you were. It was obvious to me you would do anything to be a better actress, to make great art. To leave behind your somewhat unsavory past.”
Why was it unsavory? Because she’d made money from a reality show? Why did that make her a lesser species? “I assure you I’m still hungry. Acting is all I ever wanted to do.”
“Are you sure it’s acting and not simply being famous?” Jay asked. “I thought I knew the answer, but lately I fear it’s the latter. You’re choosing your personal life over the opportunity of a lifetime. Do you want to be Meryl Streep, or are you satisfied with being Lindsay Lohan? Is your boyfriend going to star in your next reality show?”
West would be horrified at the very notion of being on the show. But if she didn’t have a career, wouldn’t she need that stupid show again?
Could she coast through life on what she had? Give up on everything she’d wanted because she couldn’t quite seem to break through?
“Are you telling me in order to keep this job I have to break up with my boyfriend?”
Jay stared at her, the moment almost becoming awkward before he spoke. “I’m saying you should think about whether having him around is helping you to focus. And you should think about the advice he gives you. He doesn’t live in our world. He doesn’t understand it, and it’s going to cost you and quite frankly the whole production. I simply thought you would be more committed to doing the work.”
She was going to lose this job. “I’ll consider everything you’ve said.”
Even as she said the words, she kind of hated herself. It felt like capitulation.
“And I’ll call in the therapist,” Jay said, smiling for the first time. “It’s a brand-new part of my method. I’m writing a book about it. I honestly think this is going to be one of those productions that goes down in history as legendary. If you stay with me, you’ll be a part of changing the way our industry works. All I need is a little compromise from you and for you to be open to the process.”
Wasn’t that what she’d always wanted? Jay Clarke was a director on his way up. He could open all doors for her.
But he might close the one to the room she felt most comfortable in.
Was she going to be smart and prioritize herself? Or was she just a stupid girl who liked a boy?
All she wanted was to get somewhere private, somewhere she could cry and try to figure out where the hell it had all gone so wrong.