Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“What is it?”
“Patience, patience.”
I flipped the lid open.
I squeaked and almost dropped my phone.
“Sails?” Lily asked. “Sails. What is it? Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah…yeah, I’m okay.” My heart skipped as I plucked the typed card sitting boldly on top of a sparkly silver dildo. It looked sleek and stylish but femininely erotic with ribbed lines all the way to the bottom.
Touching it hesitantly, I sucked in another breath at the coolness of it. Not silicone but something hard. Glass perhaps or crystal?
“You’re scaring me, Sails. What is it? It’s not something from Milton, is it?”
His name didn’t hurt me like usual. Peng couldn’t distract me as he batted at the bubble wrap I’d pulled from the box. The only thing I saw was the scripted lines on the note.
I can’t be with you in the way you asked me to be, but I promised to help you heal. This is for you. To heal. Think of me when you use it. Love, X.
“Sailor, talk to me right now, woman!”
Slamming the box closed, I forced a laugh and did my best to lie. “Sorry, I was just reading the card. It’s nothing, Lils. Just a gift basket with some care items. That’s all.”
“Care items?” Her voice bristled with suspicion. “Like what?”
“You know. Like face creams and bath bombs and stuff.”
“What friend would send you something like that, knowing you make those for a living?”
Shit.
Why do I suck so badly at lying?
“Not a close one, obviously. Look, I have to go. I totally forgot I was steeping some cinnamon sticks for a new natural deodorant recipe. I can’t leave them in too long. Bye!”
“Don’t you dare hang up on me. Something is going on with you—”
“We’ll catch up soon. I promise.”
I hung up.
I collapsed back in my chair and ran my finger over the note.
“He bought me a dildo.” I scowled at Peng. “The idiotic man bought me a sex toy, all because he refuses to have sex with me himself. I don’t know if I should be offended or impressed that he figured out how to outsource the task.”
Peng meowed and chinned the box.
Almost as if his ears were burning, my other phone pinged with a message from X.
X: I saw on the camera that you spoke to your neighbour and retrieved a parcel from your letterbox. How did both of those things go?
“As if you don’t know.” I rolled my eyes, my thumbs hovering over the screen.
Me: Seeing my neighbour was fine. I’m getting better each time we meet, but I don’t know how I feel about what you bought me.
X: It’s the first time I’ve ordered something like that. Did I buy the wrong one? I can always send another.
Me: No! No, don’t do that. Don’t send anything else. It’s fine.
X: Uh-oh. Fine isn’t what I was going for. If it won’t work for you, then tell me what you like, and I’ll make sure to deliver it.
My heartbeat went crazy. Did he see what he wrote? The suggestiveness of such a message? The temptation to reply with less-than-innocent remarks itched my fingers.
Don’t, Lor.
Don’t you dare.
I sniffed.
Why shouldn’t I?
If we were on such personal terms that he felt comfortable sending me a pleasure wand, well then…I was comfortable enough being honest with what I liked.
Pity that I’m not entirely sure.
“Then again, if I do go full truth, he might never see me again.” I winced in Peng’s direction. “What should I do, kitty cat?”
He meowed and nose bopped my phone, causing a couple of random letters to appear.
“Yeah, I think so too. He started this. He probably thinks I’m some timid wallflower who needs a big, strong man in the dark to protect her.”
Peng gave me a wide-eyed look.
I scowled. “I mean…sure, at the moment, he’s not wrong, but I wasn’t always like this. Before Milton, I was pretty scandalous, you know? I like flirting. I like being adventurous. Doesn’t matter that I’ve never found anyone to fully scratch my itch, if you know what I mean, but I think it’s time I start remembering that I was brave enough to try, don’t you?”
He yawned and sat down, licking his flank as if bored.
Sucking in a breath, I typed a message, freaked out, went to delete it, then pressed send.
Me: You want to know what I like? Alright then. Under the banner of our honesty clause, I’ll tell you. What do I like? I’m not sure, as I haven’t found it yet. But I can tell you what I fantasise about. I like the thought of a man who can take charge but also take instruction. I like the thought of a man who knows how to use his fingers. I like the thought of feeling so safe that I’d have no problem surrendering to him. Think your sex toy can deliver that?