That Guy Read Online Kim Jones

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Erotic, Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 91079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
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He’s the amiable prince.

The charming investor.

The fakest fucker in here.

For the next half hour, it’s the same thing.

Walk three steps.

Stop.

Introductions.

Curious looks.

Small talk.

Repeat.

I’m bored. I’m hungry too. Seems if I’m going to enjoy myself at this party, I’m going to have to strike out and do it on my own.

I break Jake’s hold while he’s mid-sentence. He pauses and turns to me. I smile at him and then to the couple he’s talking to. “I’m just going to visit the ladies room.”

Jake doesn’t look pleased, but he nods. “Of course.”

The moment my back turns, I roll my eyes. When they settle in my head, I see a familiar set of blues watching me from across the room.

Grandfather.

I look away and move quickly toward the bathroom Thankfully, it’s empty. I consider hiding out in here, but Ed Sheeran is out there. And I have some pretty awesome dance moves I’m ready to show off. I also saw a buffet on my way in. I’ve never been one to turn down a free meal and I would kill for a chicken wing.

I bet they have the good chicken wings, too.

Loud chatter fills the bathroom and I cringe a little at the hoard of beautiful females who walk in. They’re all so…tall. Like, super model tall.

I wonder if they had their knees done….

“Penelope!” The blonde standing center of the group beams at me. I guess she’s the leader. I suddenly feel like I’m on an episode of The Secret Life.

“Hello.” I give a little wave to the woman who I have never seen before in my life. I’m guessing she only knows me because the name of Jake Swagger’s mysterious date has spread.

“I love that dress. Valentino?”

What? Is that Spanish for something? She did say it with an accent….

She blinks at me a few times when I don’t say anything. “The design, sweetie. Is it Valentino?”

“Oh!” I snort a laugh—a very, snorty one. “Valentino. Yeah. I have no clue. Could be Jalapeno for all I know.”

The synchronized head movement they all perform as they study me like I’m some alien is a little strange. Did they rehearse that shit before they got in here? Are they robots? One of them mumbles something I can’t understand and they all nod—again in synchrony.

“Are y’all gonna like, turn into a Camaro or something?”

“Excuse me?” Bimbo Barbie Blonde One asks.

“Nothing. Enjoy the party.” I give them a tight smile and move to leave. They seem to panic, realizing they missed their opportunity to drill me.

As I pass, one of them asks, “So you and Jake are old friends?”

“Yep,” I call over my shoulder, not bothering to turn around as I push open the door.

In the hall, I’m met with three other women. All tall. All beautiful. All almost identical to each other.

There’s some weird shit happening around here….

“Well hello there, mystery girl.” This plastic actually sounds like she could be a nice person. “You are the topic of every conversation in this building.”

“No shit?” My surprise is genuine. I mean, fucking Ed Sheeran is here. I feel like I need to tell them that. So I do. “Did y’all know Ed Sheeran is here?”

Tinkly little laughs ring out. “Yes, Penelope. Ed’s a good friend of my husband’s.”

“Are you married to Taylor Swift or something?” I point to where I last saw him. “Because that’s not some washed up singer from the nineties. That’s Ed Sheeran.”

Her eyes are amused but warm. “I’m Caroline. My husband, Carver, is Mr. Swagger’s CFO.”

“Which Swagger?”

“The mean one.”

“Which one is that?”

She grins. “Jessie. But from what I hear, Jake can be a pain in the ass too.”

I’m still not sure about this Caroline. She seems nice, but she looks too much like all the others for me to fully trust her. So as bad as I want to tell her that what she heard was true, I refrain. Jake might be an asshole, but I’m not going to admit that to her.

“It was nice talking with you, Caroline. I hate to run, but…”

“Ed Sheeran.” She nods. “I know. But you do realize he’s not here to perform. He’s here as a guest.”

“What?”

She lifts a dainty finger in the air. “That’s not his voice you hear, is it?”

I listen harder.

She’s right.

It’s not Ed’s voice.

Hell, it’s not anyone’s voice. It’s some classical shit.

“So you and Jake? How did that happen?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

She winks like she knows some big secret. “Try me.”

“Some other time. See you around?” I walk away before she can respond and disappear into the crowded room. A waiter walks toward me with an empty tray of champagne glasses. I lift my chin to get his attention.

“Yes, Miss?”

“This is gonna sound strange, but do y’all have any beer?”

He fights a smile. “I’m sure I can find something. Any special preference?”


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