Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
I’m not trying to! I want to scream.
But he won’t listen.
My father never listens, unless whatever he wants to hear benefits him in some way.
I let go of him, and he goes back to his conversation with whoever he was talking to. Suddenly, everything begins to sound louder. The voices, the laughter, someone’s coughing; I even hear a distant sneeze.
My heart thunders against my rib cage, and I stride away to the bathroom. My legs are shaking so bad, I have to grab onto the sink.
Breathe, Riley. I remind myself. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.
I eye the toilet through the mirror’s reflection and the insistent need to purge fills me again. The need to get rid of all the disgusting shit I consumed earlier. I can almost imagine the grease of the pizza, the calories that came with the whip cream and Oreos that I ate, building into my stomach. Festering like a raw, hideous wound inside my flesh.
The bathroom door clicks open. “I have to say, you look pretty ravishing in that dress.”
My stomach sinks before I ball my fingers into fists. His voice is grating and I push away the fear that slides through my veins, like acid.
“This is the ladies’ bathroom, Jasper. Why are you here?”
He walks up behind me, his bigger body looming over mine. I’m tall at five foot seven. While Jasper is not much taller than me, he’s more muscular. “Because you’re here.” His dirty smirk widens. “You look pale, Smelly Riley. And I’ve haven’t even begun terrorizing you yet.”
“This is not the place for it,” I hiss.
Jasper shakes his head and I don’t miss the way his eyes darken with something sinister. “No, this is the perfect place for it.”
His arm goes around me, his hand cupping my breast over the gown. My jaw tightens and I fight off the aggression coursing through me. I can’t imagine how much trouble I’ll be in if I punch Jasper here, at the Christmas gala.
I grip the sink tighter, until my knuckles ache. He gives my breast a taunting squeeze. “Are you adding molestation to your numerous charges, Jasper?”
He chuckles darkly in my ears. “It’s not molestation if you want it, Smelly Riley.”
His other hand moves to my abdomen, and then lower, until he’s cupping me between my legs. My whole-body flushes in mortification. I roughly push back against him, and he briefly loses his balance, his hands falling away from my body.
I feel hot — not with desire. Oh, no, no. I feel hot, with uneasiness and shame. My head spins, and I wobble away from Jasper. “You will never touch me again. The next time you dare do that again, I will break your arm. I swear.”
He raises his eyebrow in question, almost mockingly.
“You have an ego problem,” I hiss, fighting back enraged and panicked tears. “Truthfully, it doesn’t match that small dick of yours.”
His face turns red, the veins bulging at my words. Jasper takes a threatening step toward me, but I’m already swiveling around and heading out the door. His fingers brush against my bare arm, but he doesn’t get a chance to grab hold of me.
Disgust curdles through me, and the food that’s still in my stomach becomes unsettling. My belly twists painfully, as I search for my dad through blurred vision.
Someone grabs onto me, and I hear them asking if I’m okay. But I can’t answer.
I can’t…breathe.
Fighting back the dizziness, I reach forward blindly. Panic surges through me, and I can’t think. I can still feel his touch on my skin, the way he grabbed my breast and how he cupped me so shamelessly.
The devils on my shoulders are silent. But the voices around me…everything is too loud.
Help…
My stomach revolts and nausea builds.
My rapid heartbeat is accompanied with cold sweat and my body starts to shake. Hyperventilating, I call out weakly, but I don’t think anyone hears me. “Daddy…”
I let out a choked sob. “Help me, please.”
My full stomach roils again, and I fight the urge to gag. Tears slide down my cheeks, and my throat closes up. The lump grows heavier and heavier. The disgusting feeling of sickness surges through me, clawing under my flesh like a poisoned disease.
No, I should have purged everything I ate before. If I don’t…I’ll grow fat and ugly. People will see it. They will see how my stomach distends. They will see the rolls on my thighs. They will see…everything I’m trying to hide.
I won’t be pretty anymore.
No…
I need to be beautiful. I am my mother’s daughter.
I am powerful. I am my father’s daughter.
This is my value.
I need…
Oh God, I can’t.
I can’t…do this.
Jasper’s voice, Jenny’s taunts — the mocking and everything else fill my head. My ears echo with them, so loud, it’s almost deafening.
The world spins.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
My father grips my arm, and he’s shaking me.