Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Nicole couldn’t get away fast enough as she rushed past me through the kitchen and into the bedroom. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. “Don’t do that again.”
My stomach sank. It hurt to hear her say that, even if I had crossed the line. “Don’t…what specifically?”
“Touch me.” She lowered her voice. “Don’t touch me again like that.”
That felt like a knife to the heart. “I thought we were pretending to be married,” I whispered. “Married people touch each other.”
Her chest heaved. “Yeah, well, I can’t handle that.”
“Your nipples can’t handle it, at least. They’re hard as fucking rocks right now. It’s obvious why you don’t want me to touch you, Nicole. It isn’t that you can’t handle it. It’s that you like it. And you don’t want to like it.”
She looked down as her cheeks turned pinker by the second.
My voice was strained. “You tell me not to touch you. And yet you’re intentionally trying to torture me. That fucking dress. You wore it on purpose because you knew it made your tits look so damn good. And you wanted me to suffer.”
Her gaze lifted to meet mine. “Maybe…”
“You don’t think I’m tortured enough? You put that damn dress on and tell me not to touch you?” I leaned in so she could feel what she was doing to me. “You get off on edging me?” As her breathing became heavier, I inched closer. “You don’t want me to touch you because it makes you feel things you’re trying not to feel? Is that what it is?”
She looked away. “I don’t know…”
I placed my hand on her chin, moving her face to look at me again. “You used to beg me to touch you.”
She licked her lips, and it made me yearn to do the same, to taste her again.
“For the record, Nicole, I will never not be yours to touch. Nor would I be able to pretend for a second that I don’t want you to touch me. You never have to ask permission.” My chest pressed into hers. “You were looking at me our first night here like you wanted to touch me. When I came out of the shower, I could see it in your eyes. Desire. You weren’t happy about it, but it was there. Tell me I’m wrong.”
My dick hardened even more as she licked her lips again. I spoke close to her mouth. “Was that my imagination? I don’t think it was. You’re forgetting how well I know you. I know you inside and out, every inch of your body. And while someone else may be borrowing you, I think deep down you know who you belong to.” We breathed together for a moment. “Other women have borrowed my body since we’ve been apart, but I have never once, not for one second, not belonged to you. You won’t admit it, but you feel the same. It’s why we’re so fucked up. We both want something we can’t have anymore. But even if we’re not physically together, I’m yours. That’s never changed. I’ll always be yours, Nicole. Whether you like it or not.”
I moved back suddenly, forcing myself away before I took things even further. I’d done enough.
She stayed in place as I left the room. I moved some things around in the kitchen without purpose, pretending I was doing something other than ruminating on all the words I’d just recklessly unleashed, even if they were the truth.
Then I sensed her behind me, my body instantly, painfully aware of her presence. I turned to her. “I forgot to mention that I’m gonna need to disappear for an hour once a week.”
“Oh yeah?” She arched a brow. “Going to take care of that little pissing problem of yours in private?”
“No.”
“Sneaking cigarettes?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Where are you going for only an hour, then?”
“Actually, I’ll be seeing my shrink during that time.”
“Oh.” Her expression softened. “How long have you been seeing someone?”
“Back when everything went down with us, Doug, the band manager, was worried I wasn’t gonna be able to function with our grueling recording and touring schedule. He insisted I talk to someone. Tristan and Ronan see her, too. But I probably need it the most.”
“You see her every week?”
“Not always. Only during down times when we have breaks. But I recently asked her to fit me in once a week for the time being.” I’d be surprised if Nicole didn’t realize why I needed more therapy at the present time.
“I see.” She nodded. “Well, I’m proud of you for seeking help.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. Maybe someday it will help me wrap my head around losing you, although I doubt that.
CHAPTER 6
ATTICUS
PAST
Julian came up behind me after our jam session in Cassius’s basement.
“Do you think Nicole would go out with me if I asked her?”