Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
My cousin seized everyone’s attention when he brought down a case of beer.
Things went from bad to worse because I knew as soon as everyone started drinking, anything could happen. My imagination ran wild. Atticus could lose his inhibitions and sleep with this girl. He probably already had. Was I naïve enough to think he hadn’t been with other girls? This was just the only time it had happened in front of my face.
I felt sick. My stomach churned. I knew I needed to leave, but felt too weak to get up.
All of a sudden, Atticus was next to me. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Refusing to look him in the eyes, I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. You just look like something is wrong.”
I hesitated. “I think it was this…seafood I ate earlier.” Really? What the hell? I guessed that was better than telling the truth.
“Seafood?” he asked. “You’re sick to your stomach?”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “You’d better stay away so you don’t get sick, too.”
His brows drew in like he didn’t know whether to believe me, but he went back to the other side of the room.
Kayla, who’d gone to the bathroom, I assumed, returned and sat on his lap again.
That was it. I needed to conjure the strength to get the hell out of here. I forced myself up off the couch and left. An evening that had held so much promise was instead one of the worst nights of my life.
CHAPTER 11
ATTICUS
I was cleaning up in Mimi’s room the morning after we’d gone out with our friends when her words stopped me in my tracks.
“I had a dream about your baby last night.”
I froze for a second and then gulped. “Oh yeah?” What is she talking about?
“Yes. I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, but it was the most beautiful, dark-haired baby that looked just like Nicole.”
“Lucky kid,” I murmured, a hollow feeling in my chest. That baby was not likely to ever exist. Then a flash of panic hit. What if Mimi’s dream was a premonition about another baby? What if Nicole was pregnant? It certainly wouldn’t be mine.
After a moment, relief washed over me as I remembered she had her period. Thank fuck.
“The last time I asked you guys about children, you both went quiet,” Mimi said. “I’m sorry if I overstepped. But is there something you’re not telling me?”
My heart pounded. Something we’re not telling you, Mimi? Why ever would you think that? I cleared my throat. “Like what, Mimi?”
“Are you two having trouble in that area?”
I stalled. “What kind of trouble?”
“Trouble conceiving.”
I hated lying to her. Yes, this entire façade was a lie, but when she asked me direct questions, it somehow felt worse than just being here and taking care of her under the guise of still being married.
“No, there’s no trouble there,” I assured her. “It just hasn’t happened for us.”
“Did I upset her when I asked about it the other day?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Does she say she’s not ready to be a mother?”
My chest felt tight. “I just…don’t think it’s the right time yet. Nicole will make a great mother someday, though. There’s no doubt about that.”
It hurt to think I wouldn’t be the one to experience that with her. It hurt even more to think I’d wasted some of her best years and could be to blame if it didn’t happen for her. That thought wrecked me like no other.
“Okay.” Mimi sighed. “I guess I’m a little old fashioned. In my day, when you were over thirty, you had to worry about being too old. But in this day and age, with all the medical advances, I guess that’s not something people are concerned with anymore.”
“Nicole is thirty-one. She still has plenty of time.”
Plenty of time to have a family with someone else. Guilt morphed into sadness.
Mimi stared into my eyes for a few seconds. “Are you okay, Atticus?”
Feeling like the biggest fraud in the world, I felt my cheeks heat. “Sure, why?”
“You look upset.”
I would’ve given anything to get Mimi’s take on our situation, to tell her everything and get her honest advice about whether she thought I had a chance in hell of ever getting her granddaughter back. But I couldn’t.
“No, Mimi. I’m fine,” I lied. You just reminded me of something I try hard not to think about. Something that eats away at my soul every time I allow in the thoughts of what never will be.
“What are you guys talking about?” Nicole asked as she entered the room.
“Nothing. Just life,” I answered, praying that Mimi dropped the subject. “You need help in the kitchen?”
“No. I have it covered.”
“She told me to stay out of the kitchen, Mimi. I think she’s up to something. What are you making in there anyway?”