Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 525(@200wpm)___ 420(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
“I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you, and I care about you. You like to act like you don’t have the world’s biggest heart in your chest, like nothing gets to you, but it does. Everything gets to you, maybe more than to anyone else I know. You just fake it better. This, with him, it’s gonna get to you even worse. The fact that you’re here, that you haven’t been with anyone else in months, and how you looked at him that night tells me everything I need to know.”
I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. He was right about everything he’d just said, and the truth sat heavy in my chest. I’d been distinctly aware of it even before Jeremy mentioned it. “As you said, you know me. I’ve been knocked down, but I’ll never be knocked out. Whatever happens, I’ll dust myself off and keep going like I always do.” I’d had about enough of the conversation, so I stood. “Now, if you’re done playing therapist and patient with me, I’d like to get ready for tonight, though you should start before me. You have more work to do. We both know I’ll look good no matter what.”
Jeremy barked out a laugh and stood as well. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”
“Yes. I’ve been told.” More than once.
“But I love you anyway.”
“Eh, you’re tolerable,” I countered, but we both knew I loved him. Before Anson, he was the only person I’d loved outside of my parents, and the only person I was sure had ever loved me.
I’d always enjoyed dressing up. I liked to look good when I went out.
I wore a black suit with a bow tie. Jeremy wore a similar black suit. It hugged his body, a body I knew very well. Not for the first time, I thought about how much easier my life would be if I’d never met Anson Hawkins. I wouldn’t be hiding. I could take Jeremy to bed tonight if I wanted—or hell, any number of men.
I wouldn’t be risking getting hurt.
I wouldn’t be in love.
But then I also wouldn’t get to see Anson smile and make him laugh and hear how husky his voice got when he told me to mark him. I wouldn’t know this man who loved football and his family more than himself. This man who turned me inside out.
Fuck. I was a goddamned mess and needed to get over myself.
The truth was, no matter how much easier it would have been, I didn’t regret it. I didn’t regret him.
“Why are you looking at me strangely?” Jeremy asked as we made our way to the Corvette he’d rented. Jeremy liked fast cars.
“Because you’re annoying.”
He laughed. “That makes no sense, but sure, I’ll pretend for your sake.”
We drove to the event, which was in the heart of Atlanta. I was there because of my passion for quality medical care for kids. Jeremy shared that passion. He’d actually beaten leukemia when he was twelve.
It was already busy when we arrived, security all along the street and at the doors as we got out of the car at the valet stand. There was a barricade around the area with reporters and paparazzi on the other side because actors and professional sports figures were attending as well.
Still, I wasn’t surprised when I heard, “Senator Calloway, you’ve been working hard for years when it comes to medical care, insurance, preschool, and other programs specifically related to children, which I assume is why you’re here, but I wanted to ask you about your work with the queer community. You’ve been very active in writing and trying to pass bills aimed at queer equality, and programs to help queer youth. Would you like to comment on that?”
“Sure, but I don’t know what you’re looking for me to say. I fight for the LGBTQ community because it’s what I believe in. Equality is a basic human right, wouldn’t you say?”
“Obviously, but…well, to be frank, you and your father have gone head-to-head on the issues you fight so strongly for. You’ve never voted the same way on any of those topics. In fact, he’s gone out of his way to write or fight for legislation that is in direct opposition to yours.”
“Which is common knowledge.”
“Bet that makes for awkward family gatherings,” the reporter said.
“You’re assuming there are family gatherings,” I replied, and his eyes widened as if I’d just given him headline gold. I never spoke about my relationship with my family, and I wasn’t sure why I’d said anything now. It wasn’t much, but he clearly counted it as a win.
“Do you care to elaborate?”
“No, thank you. Right now, I’d just like to go inside with—”
“No date tonight?” the reporter asked before all hell broke loose. “Anson Hawkins!”
The group of reporters tried to get farther down the barricade, where Anson must have been. I didn’t look, though. I knew if I did, I’d be in trouble. I wasn’t the best at being inconspicuous—mostly because I’d never forced myself to try before.