Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
He shook his head. “I think you’ll like this more,” he urged, ignoring my request and putting on a Four Tops album.
Don’t get me wrong, I was a fan of the Four Tops, but what was the point of asking for my request and then ignoring it completely?
Red. Flag. Holly!
Kai was in my head. He had me reading into everything, every single action Matthew made in a way I hadn’t over the past few weeks. Now, I was sitting on his couch, trying to be in the present moment while my mind was doing mental gymnastics to uncover any moments from our past dates when he might’ve overlooked me.
Kai was right. I wanted steak the other night at dinner.
He ordered me chicken, telling me I’d enjoy it more.
I wanted prosecco to drink.
He ordered me a Negroni.
When I made my bad jokes, he didn’t laugh. He changed the subject.
My stomach was in knots as the music began playing throughout the room at a hauntingly low volume. All signs pointed to the idea that tonight would be the night that Matthew and I took our relationship to the next level, yet all I could think about was how I was way too in my head with thoughts that were giving me high levels of anxiety.
Matthew joined me on the couch, sitting close. Very close. So close that his thigh brushed up against mine.
I cleared my throat to speak, but he stopped me with his mouth.
He kissed me, and I didn’t kiss back right away. I didn’t kiss back at all. I froze in place as his hand landed against my lower back. He slowly laid me back on the couch and trailed kisses down my neck. His hands began to roam all over me, and he hadn’t even noticed that I wasn’t giving him the same energy.
All I was doing was thinking about Kai.
Kai and the red flags.
“Matthew, wait,” I urged, trying to readjust myself on the couch.
“It’s fine,” he whispered, still pecking at my neck like a woodpecker.
Kiss, kiss, kiss, discomfort, discomfort, discomfort.
I sat up a little more, pushing against him with more force. “Matthew, wait, stop,” I told him.
“You taste so good,” he muttered against my skin, giving me chills of ick.
He kept trying to kiss me and only came to a full-blown halt when I shoved my hands against his chest. “I said stop!” I shouted, forcing him from my body.
He sat back on the couch, completely thrown off by my reaction.
For a moment, I felt guilty. I felt I’d led Matthew on because all signs pointed to that destination. All signs led that way until a few hours ago when Kai stopped at my apartment. Now, all I wanted to do was realign my body with my mind. Readjust my heart with my soul. I felt too unbalanced for whatever was about to happen between Matthew and me.
I pushed myself up a little and pulled my knees into my chest as I looked at the confusion in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” I whined, feeling idiotic.
“No. It’s fine. The couch isn’t comfortable. We can move to the bedroom—”
“No, it’s not that. I don’t think I’m ready to take it to this next step. I’m sorry, I’m—”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Holly?” he snapped.
Yep.
He snapped at me.
His confused stare transitioned to annoyance in point-one second, leaving any rose-colored glasses I had for him behind. “What the hell did you think we were going to do tonight?” he asked, his tone dripping with annoyance. He gestured toward the kitchen. “Did you think this was just to cuddle and talk?”
I swallowed hard. “I didn’t know your invitation to cook me dinner came with stipulations.”
“Of course, it did. Honestly, it’s been a long time coming, and I’ve understood your wanting to wait. But I’ve dropped a shit ton of money on you to get us to this point. I’ve listened to your pointless conversations about squirrels. I’d paid for your taxis. The least you could do is put this far into this thing.”
My jaw was agape as he spoke to me. It was as if the mask he’d been wearing had completely slipped off since he had a stiff one in his pants.
He sighed and ran his hands through his thick hair before rolling his eyes. “Listen, you should leave. I’m done playing this cat-and-mouse game.”
“I didn’t know we were playing a game?”
“Don’t act all innocent, Holly. You were more than a willing participant in this thing. You aren’t worth the hassle anymore for me to keep playing. I’m not interested. It wouldn’t have been that good, based on your personality.”
I felt like I’d just gone through a major spin of whiplash.
I was sitting in the apartment of a complete, utter stranger who’d just performed the ultimate Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me.