Total pages in book: 26
Estimated words: 24183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 121(@200wpm)___ 97(@250wpm)___ 81(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 24183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 121(@200wpm)___ 97(@250wpm)___ 81(@300wpm)
My conclusion is that something’s seriously off with those two. I’m not sure what Bezimba and Trekko thought was going to happen because they weren’t exactly hiding their illicit activities. The aroma of opium on their raggedy clothing was powerful, and I have no idea how they got through multiple airport checkpoints. But the long and the short of it is that my parents are serving time now, and hopefully drying out in the process. It can’t be easy to get clean while you’re behind bars, but I’ve heard that prisons have special programs for this kind of thing.
Meanwhile, Carl and I have settled in together. I gave up my parents’ ancient trailer, and dumped all their furniture too. There was no need for any reminders of what Tom and Bertha have become. Then, I moved in with my boyfriend, and it’s been a relief, actually. More than a relief. We’ve made love on every surface in this small space, and Carl’s joking that we’ll have to upgrade to a triple-wide if I get pregnant.
Of course, the idea of having a baby with Carl brings me joy. I’d love nothing more than to feel his child growing in my belly, and my heart warms with excitement and anticipation. In fact, his mom is visiting at the moment, and I decide to ask Carly about Carl’s particular genetic destiny. Surprisingly, his mom and I get along well, so there are no questions that are off limits.
“So do you think I’d have a baby boy with two cocks?” I ask in a hesitant voice. The older woman winks at me.
“What is it that the 8-ball says? It is decidedly so,” she proclaims.
“Goodness!” I exclaim, my eyes going wide. “That would be wild.”
Carly winks again.
“Yeah, my understanding is that it’s a dominant trait. After all, the male members of the Lysenian royal family tend to have double cocks, from what I understand. At least, that’s what I’ve gleaned from reading European gossip magazines.”
Carl snorts, his big arm snaking around my waist.
“Do you still subscribe to those, Mom? Really? It’s been decades.”
Carly nods happily, her gray curls bouncing up and down.
“Oh yeah. I still get Voici and Hola!, as well as The Lysenian Gazette. These publications traffic in unconfirmed rumors, so I know everything.”
My boyfriend and I look at each other and laugh. His mom is a riot, and I love her already. But then Carly leans forward, her expression secretive.
“And Carl, you weren’t conceived one-on-one. At least not in the traditional sense.”
My boyfriend looks stunned.
“I’m sorry? What do you mean? Was it IVF? Frozen embryos?”
“No!” Carly chortles. “That scientific stuff wasn’t around when I was a young woman. No, what I mean is that I had a threesome with King Fjall and another woman named Mina. Like I said, your father was a hound dog, and he was sowing his wild oats before ascending to the Lysenian throne.”
Both Carl and I are struck speechless.
“Really?” he chokes out. “I was conceived during a threesome?”
“You were!” Carly says merrily. “We got up to some filthy shit back then. From what I remember, I’d sit on one of Fjall’s cocks, and then Mina would sit on his other one at the same time. Then we’d switch cocks, and it was utterly dirty and delicious. Imagine that! Two women sitting on your two cocks and then switching things up. I’m surprised Fjall didn’t pass out from the pleasure.”
My mouth literally opens and closes with shock as I stare at the older woman. But Carl manages a couple words.
“So are you still in touch with Mina?” he asks in a strangled tone.
“No, not really. Well, sort of,” Carly says in a thoughtful voice. “She also got pregnant from that fateful threesome many years ago, and I believe her son is named Sven. I hear that Sven’s got double cocks too, and not only that, but he’s got knots at the base of his cocks. He does incredible damage to the female population, from what I hear. Loves it too. Absolutely lives his life with no regrets.”
I make another choking sound, still unable to speak.
“He’s not afraid of people discovering his secret?” Carl manages in a strained voice.
Carly shrugs.
“I don’t know. Mina and I were never tight like that, so we don’t discuss sensitive issues. We were just party friends back in the day. You know, the type of girl who holds your hair out of your face when you puke, but nothing more than that.”
I turn to my boyfriend.
“We should try to get in contact with Sven,” I say. “He’s your half-brother!”
“Nuh uh,” Carl says, holding both hands up. “I want nothing to do with that guy. He sounds like a dirty asshole, using women and forcing them to take knots in their pussies and asses. Holy fuck!”
I merely shake my head.