Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 143633 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 718(@200wpm)___ 575(@250wpm)___ 479(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 143633 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 718(@200wpm)___ 575(@250wpm)___ 479(@300wpm)
He cut my ramble short, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“Take a breath,” he said. “At least you didn’t have slut written across your forehead.”
He laughed.
I didn’t. I covered my face in my hands and groaned.
“I’m so sorry, seriously. I should have been more careful. I could have come up with something better than Jenny, right from the start.”
“Shh,” he said, and planted a kiss on my head. “We were on a limited time window, and that was always the case. This place isn’t exactly a private island, and you couldn’t stay locked in here for ever, no matter how tempting the prospect would be.”
I got a fresh bout of nerves. “What happens now, then? Do I go downstairs and sneak up here when nobody’s looking? Do I pretend I’ve split up with Jenny, and go back to college and wait until I can get up here when there’s nobody to see me?”
His eyes were so serious. “Is that what you want?”
“No!” I said. “But you don’t want the bullshit, do you? Everyone will be out to cause shit. Mum will freak out, and Trisha will be a bitch around the whole city.”
He shrugged, still calm. “I’ve been caught out already, for much greater crimes. My double life in Oxford would have caused me and everyone else considerably less hell if I’d have been transparent about it from the start, but I’m not putting that demand onto you. It’s up to you when and if you break the news about Jenny, but I’ll be right here alongside you, if you want that. I’m not running away again.”
I could have cried with relief.
“Really? You won’t leave? Not even if the whole estate finds out?”
“I won’t leave you,” he said. “But you’re the one whose relationships are at stake here. I’ve walked through my own fire before. This is about yours. If you want to play it down and write Jenny off as nothing, I understand.”
I had to laugh. “That’s the opposite of what I want.”
His expression was still serious. “You’re sure about that? You’d really like to be hand in hand with the seedy sicko from apartment six? Walking through this shithole estate with everyone jeering?”
His words took me aback. That wasn’t how I saw it. Julian wasn’t a seedy sicko from apartment six, he was the man I’d fallen in love with, who loved me in return.
“I’m pointing out the truth,” he continued. “That’s what it will be like. You’ll be a public spectacle with everyone in your life casting judgement. They’ll be maintaining that I’m a pervert, especially if they see me with you. It won’t be pleasant.”
For once in my life, I was glad I didn’t have many people I gave a shit about.
“I don’t care.”
His hands squeezed my shoulders. “I think you might do, when it comes to it.”
“No, I won’t,” I said. “People have been bitching at me since I was a kid. Idiots can say what they like, and I won’t give a shit. You’re not a seedy sicko.” I paused. “The only person’s opinion I really give a toss about is Mum.”
Julian’s eyes were so caring as he looked down at me.
“She’d better be the one you tell first then, hadn’t she?”
Chapter Twenty
Julian
One more night – that’s what Rosie decided on. Our final night of cocooning before we braced ourselves and stepped into the obvious condemnation awaiting outside.
I wanted to make it a night to remember.
She was showering when I poked my head into the bathroom to let her know that I was heading into town. She was grinning as she pulled the shower curtain to the side.
“Really? You sure? Aren’t you coming in here with me?”
Her smile was infectious. She was turning into more of a cute little vixen every day.
The very sight of her there under the cascade was more than enough fuel to break my determination. But no. I had plans that needed fulfilling.
“I need cigarettes,” I said, and I wasn’t lying. I usually kept a decent supply, but I was practically down to the last one.
“Cool,” she said. “See you in a bit, then.”
“Do you want anything?”
“Nope. I’m all good.” Her eyes were so beautiful. “I just want you.”
“Touché.”
I turned away before my instincts took full hold, and I forced myself out of there.
It felt bizarrely surreal to step foot onto the street again, into the light of day outside. It was as though we’d been holed up for months in my apartment, not just days. It struck me then, as I walked, just how unpredictable our life was going to be from now on. The very second the news of our secret love affair exploded, it would be us against the world. I only hoped Rosie would be able to cope.
I was relatively comfortable for my own part as to the blow up of judgements that lay ahead. There would be no jeers or hateful names that could ever kick me in the guts as hard as my own family’s had, but Rosie would be new to the playing field. I was the one who’d been doing the misdeed in the situation, not her, but unfortunately it would be her who’d have to face the full extent of the consequences. Particularly the ones with her mother. The question would be whether Rosie would be able to leave Beverly behind if it became an ultimatum. Beverly was her flesh and blood. It had almost killed me to leave mine.