Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 81261 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81261 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Immediately, the sound returns, and it’s so loud and sudden, I jump. I turn to look at Karen, blinking in confusion because I was on the bar stool, and now I’m standing.
Reaching out, I put a hand on her shoulder. “You okay? You zoned out there for a minute.”
“Um… yeah,” she says with a brilliant smile. Her eyes cut to Amell. “Is he the one who broke your heart?”
“Yeah, and I’m going to give him five minutes to listen to what he says. I’ll be back.”
“Okay,” she says hesitantly, glancing at Amell. She leans in close. “But my vote is for forgiveness. He’s gorgeous.”
My smile is wan. “Be back soon.”
Grabbing my purse, I walk out of the building with Amell following. The bar is situated at the end of Main Street, so we’re only four blocks from my house, but I’m not taking Amell there. That’s my space, and I don’t want him in it.
There aren’t many people out as most of the businesses are closed, but it’s a pretty walk with all the streetlamps lit along the main thoroughfare. I cross my arms over my chest and Amell falls into step beside me.
“This is a nice place,” he says casually. “Of course, anything other than the Underworld is nice.”
“Not true,” I say, then mentally kick myself for admitting I’ve been in worse places than Hell.
That I actually found beauty there.
“Have you seen Sammy?” he asks, and I wasn’t prepared for that to be an important question with our limited time.
I glance over at him. “Yeah… I work in his mom’s flower shop so I see him from time to time. He’s got a great life here.”
“Thank fuck,” Amell murmurs, and I try not to be warmed by the fact that Amell is invested in my brother’s security and happiness.
Which translates to him being invested in my own.
Amell takes my elbow, stopping to turn me toward him. “Nyssa… I don’t have a lot of time. I said things to you that weren’t true, and I need to correct that.”
“You’ll need to be more specific,” I say, anger flaring.
He nods, eyes shining with sympathy. “I gave you many untruths, and I did it to push you away. I thought you’d have a better life away from me, but as someone pointed out recently, I think I was just scared by the depth of my feelings. Jago nearly killed you, and I didn’t think I’d survive losing you.”
I furrow my brows, because that makes no sense. “So you didn’t think you’d survive losing me, yet you lost me anyway. You look like you’ve survived just fine.”
“Yeah, okay… maybe I survived, but I’m not living. Not really.”
I glance around, nibbling on my lip. This is a lot. It’s something I never thought I’d hear. I left Amell behind and never expected to see him again.
My eyes come back to him. “You know all the terrible things that happened to me over my life.”
Amell nods.
“Nothing had ever hurt me the way you did, because I never let myself care about anything. But I opened myself to you and laid my heart on the line… and you just… you crushed it. You did it in mere minutes and never once thought to try to talk it out with me. I don’t know why you’re here, but if it’s to apologize, I accept. But I don’t think there’s anything else to talk about.”
“But there is,” he insists, hands coming to my shoulders. “You still haven’t let me set my lies straight.”
“What lies?”
“All the ones I told you to make you leave. Don’t you remember?” I try not to. All I allow myself to retain is that Amell didn’t want me anymore. “I told you that I can’t ensure your happiness. That’s a lie, because I know I can. I told you I didn’t want to be responsible for you, but having you to care for is the most important, rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my long existence. I said I didn’t have time for you, but time moves achingly slow without you by my side. I even told you that you weren’t worth the effort, but in truth, creating dreams with you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Amell,” I whisper, because admittedly, his words punch deep.
“I told you I don’t want commitment, and that’s the biggest lie of all. I want to bind my life to yours, and yours to mine, and I want to live until the end of time with you. I want to worship and love you every day until the world can’t go on anymore, and then I want to love you beyond that into the next world.”
That gets the most visceral reaction from me and I tear free of him. “Don’t use that word.”
“Love?” he asks gently, reaching right back for me. His hands go to my face this time, and he pulls me close. “It’s the best word I have to describe what I feel for you. I love you, Nyssa.”