Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 96714 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96714 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Even Cassie had said I didn’t seem to have any self-preservation. In short, I was fucked.
“So long as they swear loyalty to you?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“And all I have to do is have your back?”
Ivan chuckled. “There’s a little more to it, but in essence, yes. You’ll have my back, as you will Ive’s.”
Glancing down at the table, I couldn’t stop thinking about that damn cell phone. I didn’t ask Rage to help me.
“You made a mistake, didn’t you?” I asked.
Ivan didn’t say a word.
“With me.”
He was still silent.
“I couldn’t help but wonder why you’d pick me. Everyone knew my father hated me. You had to get Rage on your side. You were meant to get Cassie, weren’t you? She’d have been perfect for your plans.”
“It didn’t play out how I intended, but believe this, Charlotte, I’d have never allowed Cassie to marry Ive.”
“Why not? She’s perfect for him.”
Ivan clicked his tongue. “She’s far too entitled and a princess for him.”
“And what am I?”
“Damaged enough for him to try,” Ivan said.
“Damaged,” I repeated the word.
“I saw the scars on your back.”
Lifting my head once again, I stared into his eyes. Ivan was a scary man. I’d looked at him a few times and been frozen in fear, but that hadn’t stopped me from looking. He was handsome, but there was a coldness wrapped around him. He had the sweet smiles and almost the innocent look, but it was all fake, every single bit of it. There was nothing loving or sweet about this man. Trust me, I knew. He and my father had a lot of similarities.
“They’re just marks of a time in my life. They don’t mean anything.”
“Because he called you Trash?”
I shrugged. “Trash doesn’t get to have feelings. It doesn’t have a voice. It doesn’t complain. It’s just trash.”
“You’re not trash, Charlotte.”
“I know, but it makes life easier, doesn’t it?”
“What does?”
“If you believe you are trash. An inanimate object that has no value or meaning, tossed aside because it’s worthless. It makes the punches less painful. It makes everything not seem so unfair. You don’t get locked in your room and forgotten if you mean nothing. You eventually stop crying, because it doesn’t matter. When he looks at you, and through you, it doesn’t sting. You just live, but wait for that moment when you’re grabbed and thrown aside once again.”
Staring into his eyes, Ivan looked right back at me, and in an odd way, I had a feeling he knew exactly what I was talking about.
His fingers tap against his thigh. No words are spoken.
Saying those words aloud, I think about my eighteen years of life. I never had a great birthday or Christmas. In fact, Rage was the only person to remember my birthday, and he told Cassie. I didn’t know it, until they started to present me with a card or a gift. The presents had to be small. If my father ever saw them, he’d destroy them.
At home, my bed had been taken from me. I had a used mattress from the club on the floor. Used bedsheets. Even my curtains had been destroyed. He wanted me to have nothing. His hatred for me had bled from his pores.
I tried not to think about it. My life was easier that way.
Whenever he was away on club runs, those were the days and weeks I was free. I was able to clean my room, remove the mold that accumulated in the corners. Use that time to go grocery shopping to fill the fridge and freezer. Hang out with Cassie without fear of being interrupted by our father’s wrath. Was that the life Ivan offered me? To finally live without fear?
Tears filled my eyes and I was way too afraid to hope. Some soldier’s mistake had meant my life had changed for the better.
“There’s a cell phone in my luggage. I didn’t ask for it. Rage gave it to me.” I took a deep breath. He wanted me to be able to reach him at all times.”
“And you’re telling me this why?”
“I don’t want it. I don’t know what you need me to do, but I will be loyal to you, Ivan Volkov. I will always put you, my husband, and the Volkov Bratva first.”
Ivan nodded his head. “That’s the first step. I will be taking your cell phone.”
I nodded.
“Ive’s not a difficult man to handle, Charlotte. He understands you more than you realize, and if you give him a chance, he’ll prove it time and time again.” Ivan got to his feet. “Eat something. Being a married woman now, you’re going to need your strength.”
He left me alone and I stared down at the plate of food. There was so much here. I’d gone without food, starved because it had been my father’s wish at the time. Picking up a slice of toast, I took a bite.