Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 103102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
“Then you try again,” I say.
“Is this love, though? Feeling sick because you’re worried about disappointing someone? Or them disappointing you?”
“It might be.”
“Oh god.” Her face goes pale. “I love a man I haven’t fucked.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“What if we don’t fit there?” She shakes her head. “How am I supposed to live with that?”
“You don’t have to.”
“But the app… What if this is a deal-breaker for Willa?” she asks. “She already hates me. She’s looking for a reason to write me off. To not work with us. I know it.”
“Even if it means the end of the app,” I say. “You don’t have to.”
She throws herself against the couch again. “Really? That’s okay? You’ll forgive me?”
Does she think I wouldn’t? “Of course.”
“But…it’s not theoretical, Dee. The guy Willa is bringing to the resort. He’s the guy who co-owns the firm. This is our real test. The dinner in a few weeks won’t matter if we fuck this up. She’s going to believe it’s real now. Or we’re never going to convince her.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Deanna
Lexi looks at me with expectation in her blue eyes.
I’m the wise sister, the honest one, the loyal one.
Only I’m none of those things. Not right now.
“I know it’s a lot of pressure,” I say. “I can’t help with that. I can’t control what Willa will do. But I’m on your side, whatever you want.”
“Even if we lose funding and close shop?”
“Even if.”
Lexi frowns. “I don’t know if I’ll forgive myself.”
“We’ll figure it out, Lexi. Whatever happens. I promise.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she says. “I don’t know if I can figure out what I want with all this outside influence. How am I supposed to have a sexy weekend with an investor judging my relationship?”
“How about you leave early,” I say. “Get a day alone with him.”
“Maybe.”
“Let’s picture it.” I squeeze her hand. “Pretend Willa isn’t there. Pretend no one knows you two matched on the app. Or that it’s a faraway concern. Right now, it’s just the two of you, in the presidential suite, all weekend.”
“I don’t know,” she says. “I can’t see it.”
Okay, let me try another tactic. “What did you do on Saturday? After you shut him down?”
“I said I had a headache. Like a woman in a nineties movie.” She groans as if saying, what a terrible lie.
“Then?”
“He made me peppermint tea,” she says. “And he offered to rub my back. And he lay with me while I closed my eyes.”
“And?”
“It was nice.”
“Really nice?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know it was possible to feel good just holding someone.”
“Welcome to relationships,” I say.
“Do they always feel this awful?”
“Only sometimes,” I say.
“I hate it.”
“Because it’s new and scary.”
“Ugh.” She rests her head on my shoulder.
I hug her sideways, the way I did when we were kids. “You’re not one to back down from a challenge.”
“I do like him,” she says. “And I want to try. But I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I won’t pretend I’m Ms. Commitment.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and exhale thoughts of New Yorker profiles and Forbes 30 Under 30 lists. “Follow your heart.”
“Are you sure?”
No, but I know this is the right thing. “Yes.”
“What if she doesn’t think we’re a couple the right way?”
“I’ll tell her to fuck off.”
“Really?”
“Really.” This is more important. Sisterhood is always more important.
Even if it means we lose everything.
But it won’t come to that. I know exactly how to play this.
Chapter Thirty
Deanna
Trip preparation moves quickly. We arrange hotel rooms, carpools, rough plans to keep Willa busy.
River’s sisters drive out with him, early, to spend the day at some sort of fancy spa. I stay for a work meeting, a video call with a machine learning expert, someone who understands artificial intelligence a million times better than I do.
It’s strange, to consider ceding control, to consider bringing in outside opinions. But it’s time. I can’t run this on my own. Not if we secure this funding and kick up our advertising enough to take the crown from Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid, Bumble, or Coffee Meets Bagel.
After the call, I go home, pack, and drive to Palm Springs on my own. The big houses blend into smaller ones, neighborhoods of matching homes and perfectly square four-unit apartment buildings. Then the strip malls and gas stations. Everything spreads out as I move east, through Riverside County. When River was a kid, the county had a reputation as a home of meth houses and crime. It was an inflated one, no doubt—we also called Anaheim Anacrime because it was less safe than Irvine and Tustin—but one with some truth.
Riverside is still expensive, by most people’s standards, but it pales in comparison to our neighborhood. To the entire California coast. The crime might be minimal, but the heat isn’t. And unlike Palm Springs, a cozy resort community, Riverside isn’t all strip malls and concrete. Or maybe everyone has a pool in the backyard.