Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 84952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
I still, processing this unusually raw and honest statement from my mother.
“I love Jack. He’s wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. But there’s something sweet about the idea of having lived with your father and raising you that makes me sad that I didn’t try.”
“I don’t know how to feel about this.”
“It’s not for you to feel anything. It’s for you to learn.” She sighs. “I met your father when I was young. I was in my early twenties, and I feel like that was such a magical time. That’s why I’m always trying to get you to meet people because I want you to experience that spark, that connection with someone you could grow and change and build something with.”
My lip quivers.
I know what she wants for me. I want it too. And I know I had it, if only for a few days.
“I met that person, Mom.”
“I know you did. That’s why you have to go get him.”
“What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Oh, he wants you,” Bellamy chimes in from the couch.
I ignore her again.
“He might fight it. If he really doesn’t know how to trust people, you might have to teach him. And if he thinks it’s not okay to be happy, then you show him how to smile. Because I saw him look at you, and he was smiling, Larissa. It’s hard not to smile when you’re around.”
I sniffle, not sure what to do now.
Is she right? Should I show him I won’t give up on him? On us? Would it make a difference?
Bellamy gets up and walks by me. She whispers something that I can’t make out. I don’t ask her to repeat it, and I don’t follow her because it’s probably something about snacks.
“He’s leaving tonight, I think,” I tell my mother. “I think it’s too late.”
“It’s never too late. But you need a plan.”
I rest my head on the back of the chair. “But do I? Mom, I’m not sure it matters. His mind is made up.”
“Is it? Or are you just scared to try?”
My head throbs, pain pulsing through my temples, and I just can’t do it anymore.
“I’m going to shut my phone off for a while.” I tell her. “I just … I need to think and not look at it every three minutes to see if he’s called. Because he won’t. I know it.”
“I understand. Just have some faith, okay?”
“I’ll try. I love you, Mom.”
“And I love you, baby girl.”
I hang up the phone.
Twenty-Six
Hollis
There is sand in my shoe.
Each step I take feels like I’m walking on tiny little pebbles. It takes my already foul mood and worsens it.
The sun and the salt didn’t help. Everywhere I turned, there was a reminder of Larissa.
A blonde in a bikini the same green color as the dress Riss wore to Jack’s event.
There was a succulent in an oversized terra-cotta pot by the lifeguard’s shack.
A woman was walking with a black Labrador and a little boy was tossing a football up in the air, as if the universe was taunting me with what could’ve been.
Is it going to be like this when I get home?
My suitcase is in the trunk of my car. Check-out has been completed at the hotel. Grandma Judy’s shop was closed, but I shoved a piece of paper under the door and thanked her for everything.
I’ve sat in this room for a half of an hour and waited to be called to the podium. The Landry’s have created a fun environment backstage and I just can’t enjoy it.
I think I’m broken.
Maybe broken-hearted.
“Hey, Hollis, my man,” Lincoln Landry says, coming into the room. He shakes my hand but then pulls me into a man-hug. “How are you?”
“Excited to be here,” I say with zero enthusiasm.
He quirks a brow. “Don’t pass out from all that excitement or anything.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I suck in a deep breath. “It’s been a long week.”
“That’s what I heard. Hey, while I have you here, can you do me a favor?”
Can I do him a favor?
I want to tell him that I’m the guy you call to fuck everything all up, not save the day. But how do you say no to him? You don’t.
“Of course,” I say. “Whatever you want.”
He grips my shoulder. “Danielle has a special guest here this evening. She sat her down with some cookies in the back and then vanished. I don’t know if Dani thought I was the entertainment committee around here tonight or what, but you know, I have to pretend to be a professional. I need to be with the people.” He motions toward the stage. “Will you help me out?”
I’m so, so confused. But it’s Lincoln, so of course I’m going to say yes.
“Uh, sure. What do you want me to do?” I ask.