Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
I could do this all day. All night. Just this slow, teasing consumption of her, taking in every single ripe inch of her.
“James,” she says through a heady whisper. “I want you inside me.”
I look up at her then; the hunger in my eyes must match the hunger that I see in hers. I want to be inside her too, but not before I get one last taste of her sweetness.
So I lean down, burying my face between her thighs and licking and sucking at that deliciously wet cunt until she’s sobbing with pleasure and begging me for more.
And when she can’t take it anymore, when she’s screaming my name as I bring her over the edge, only then do I finally allow myself to sink into her warm depths. She feels like heaven around me as we move together slowly at first and then faster, harder, until nothing else exists but us and our primal need for each other.
In that moment there is nothing sweeter than being with this woman. Nothing more exhilarating or satisfying or right than feeling the force of our bodies colliding in wild abandon while we come together.
There is sadness and grief and pain, but there’s also hope. Hope that this doesn’t have to end here, that it doesn’t have to stay hidden, that perhaps we can continue like this together in some way. I have my doubts; I don’t see how Magnus would ever be okay with the two of us together, and with the way that Laila is sometimes, the way she closes up, I can’t tell if that’s something she’d want. I fear that if I ever threw it all away for her—my job, my reputation—she would ghost me sooner or later. I just never know where I stand.
Focus, I tell myself. It’s not the time to worry, not when I’m so deep inside her. It’s like the two of us are moving as one.
And so I focus on the way her nails are digging into my back, the way she’s moving underneath me, the way she’s moaning my name like it’s a prayer.
My orgasm comes for me with no warning, and I feel her tense around me and shudder, and that’s enough to push me over the edge the rest of the way, my grip tightening, a hoarse cry escaping my mouth. I come inside her, feeling her roll her hips against me, wanting to take all of me in, wanting it all.
“Oh god,” I whisper into her ear as we settle, tingles of bliss still shooting up and down my legs. “I could stay inside you forever.”
She laughs a little, a breathy sound compared to her usually boisterous one.
I kiss her neck tenderly, feeling overcome by things I don’t even want to unpack.
“I’m serious, Laila,” I say, wondering if she’ll ever take me seriously. “I never want to let you go.”
She doesn’t say anything, just stares at me with those big green eyes.
Those eyes suddenly go wide. “We didn’t…a condom.”
Oh fuck. The thought hadn’t even entered my mind.
“I’m clean,” I tell her. “Clean bill of health before I came here. It’s part of the job. And I haven’t been with anyone but you.”
She exhales through her nose in relief, as if she really believed I was gallivanting around Oslo.
“I’m on the pill,” she says. “Was actually thinking of switching up to an IUD at some point. But yeah.”
I smile at her and kiss her forehead. It’s early enough in the day still that we could go for a hike like she suggested, but right now I could easily drift off to sleep in her arms. Before I can finish another thought, I’m out.
Eighteen
LAILA
I wake up to knocking at my door. I’m still under the covers, wondering for a moment where I am, then throw them back, squinting at the window where gray light comes in through the bottom of the curtains. Did I sleep in?
The knocking continues. Sounds more like pounding from tiny fists, halfway down the door. I grab my phone and peer at the time. I slept in a little but not that much.
“Bjorn,” I hear Ella’s hushed and annoyed voice on the other side of the door, and the knocking stops. Oh boy. Kid woke up full of beans.
I sigh and decide to get out of bed anyway. Even though everyone usually sleeps in here, I should be getting up earlier. It’s funny, just a week away in Todalen and my body has already adjusted to that schedule. In fact, it adjusted to that schedule a little too well. Sex, crying, sex, hiking, sex, drinking, sex…on repeat.
I go to the sink and splash water on my face, hoping that will wake me up and stop my daydreaming. But I can’t help it.
Even though last week was the hardest time of my life—saying goodbye to my grandmother like that—it was also the happiest time of my life. It’s so odd to feel that way, so wrong, and the guilt is strong. I want to just drown in my grief because it really is the most overpowering thing, like it’s changing every single molecule in my body.