Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 496(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 496(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
“As it happened, though,” he continues, “they didn’t. And Pressia went missing the same day Pell went missing, which was the same day that Pie went missing. And Pressia’s special powers turned out to be divination and prophecy. But somehow, she got herself a door and a key. She’s been travelling through time. I met up with her once.”
Well. This story is taking a turn I didn’t expect. He’s about to tell me something personal.
“She disappeared when she was a child, of course. Long, long after I had already been banished. But I bumped into her far, far, far into the future. I found a door in the early days of my banishment. Rather, a door was presented to me and I walked through it. It was a trap, of course.”
He pauses here and I can feel him looking down at me. “They’re all traps. Remember that, Callistina.” I don’t say anything so he just keeps going. “On the other side of my trap door was this woman, dressed in a flowing, light-green dress, with long, golden hair pulled back away from her face with gold chains, and a face so sweet you’d never even suspect the evil lurking underneath. But she was evil. She used me. She lied to me. She made me vulnerable. And in that vulnerable moment, she put me here.”
He stops. I figure it’s a dramatic pause, maybe. But it lingers too long for that. I conclude that he’s waiting for me to urge him on, which I will not do directly, but I do say, “You shall call me queen,” to let him know I’m still listening.
“Right.” His chuckle is laced with cynicism.
And then I realize he wasn’t waiting on me to let him know I was listening. He was caught up in something. He was caught up in his past.
“She was controlling time, Callie.” I hate that name. “And memories. And she trapped me here with a song. That stupid fuckin’ song that plays even when the stupid jukebox is unplugged. She sure is my ball and chain. Anyway, once I was here, she presented me to the Court of Succession and I was formally banished into the Betwixts of Time. That is where I live still. The Betwixts of Time. Everything that I have done—that you know I have done, that everyone thinks I have done—has been done in the Betwixts of Time. It’s not an absolute place. The fog is thin, at times. And I walk through it. That is how I got to the human world. That is how I met Lisa, the woman whose hand appeared that fateful day of Pie’s Caretaking Ceremony and pulled her through the door. That is how I exist, and have existed, since nearly the time I was made.”
It’s an interesting story. Somewhat familiar too. And it calms me greatly and settles me too. So I am no longer crying.
Maybe that was his point. That’s what I’m thinking when he says, “I didn’t know any better. When I ruined Pie’s life, I didn’t know any better. And I’m sorry about that. And how what I did may have affected you.”
My forehead furrows as I parse his words. Did he just… apologize to me?
I open my eyes and stare into the darkness. My head is resting in the crook of his arm, my own arm thrown over his chest in a possessive way I don’t really mean. I’m simply clutching at him right now. Looking for some kind of stability that might keep me from actually going insane.
Or I was, before he started telling me his story.
Now I’m not sure what I’m doing.
The next thing I know, he’s pulling me on top of him. It’s a position I’m familiar with. This is how I have sex with him almost every single night. But tonight, I’m afraid.
Not because we’re going to have sex. I don’t care about the sex. But because when I am in position—his naked hips between my open legs, my hands pressing down on his chest—he’s not putting himself inside me. Not the usual way, at least.
He’s looking me in the eyes. Staring at me. Putting himself inside me that way instead.
I’m frozen. Unable to move. Unable to make a decision. There’s a part of me that just wants to get up and walk out. Just leave. Because he sees me. And I don’t want him to see me.
But there’s another part of me—a much larger part of me—that wants to stay right here with him forever. Let him gaze right into my soul with those green eyes of his. Regardless of the consequences.
Because to look Eros in the eyes is to adore him. It’s inevitable.
Except he’s not trying to cajole me into loving him. Not yet. He’s still talking. “Don’t give up on my account. Don’t lie down in the fog and fade away because of what I did to you. Or because you’re stuck in this place. Or because you have to live inside this gorgeous body of yours that you hate with a passion. Don’t give up, Callistina. I’m just not worth it.”