Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
No luck.
“You’re right, but I wish you had given me a chance to right my wrongs.”
“Why? You were right,” I say, tossing my phone aside and sitting up. “I was the team whore.”
I wasn’t. I only slept with Dart once, which was a mistake, and then with Thatcher, which was a need. So really, two out of thirty guys doesn’t make me a whore. It’s only .06%. I’m not even on the whore radar, and it took years for me to realize that. But at the time, when I believed his words, when I saw anger in his eyes because I’d hurt him, well, that took up 100% of my heart and broke me.
“That’s not true. Nothing I said was true. I was in so much pain,” he tries, but I only shake my head. “I worked my knee in ways that were not approved by the doctor the night before, and then I had PT that morning. I came in hot and exploded on you, Audrina.”
I ignore the memory. “It doesn’t matter,” I say, but both of us know that’s not the truth. If it didn’t matter, I wouldn’t have hidden for more than three years.
“You didn’t have to leave like that, though,” he says softly, his words pleading.
“Maybe not, but I couldn’t face you—or anyone, for that matter,” I admit. “Everyone was there. Everyone heard what you said. You humiliated me.”
Silence stretches between us, the only sound Arwen’s soft breathing. Her little face is so red, and I hate seeing her sick. Especially when I know he’s right. If she had good ear gear, better care than the backwoods of Virginia can provide me with, she’d be better off. It’s been getting worse lately. I have been calling different health care providers all over the state, but it’s so hard to find a good specialist who takes self-pay.
I need to have a plan because Thatcher won’t walk away without knowing I have one. Hell, I’m not even sure he’d walk away if I did have one. I always knew if I told him about Arwen, he’d force himself into my life. And fuck, as much as I love looking at him, love loving him, it hurts to be in the same room with him. For so long, I thought he cared for me, but the things he said just shattered me.
“Audrina.” It’s only my name, but the way he says it carries a heavy plea. My eyes burn as I shrug and reach for one of Arwen’s Bluey blankets and place it between her little hands. She likes to hold something as she sleeps. I lean down, pressing my lips to her temple. Her fever isn’t as bad as it was when I first came up here, and I’m thankful for that. I reach up, careful as I pull off her ear gear. She whimpers, and my stomach clenches at the sound.
“Audrina,” Thatcher groans, coming toward the bed. His presence is huge, taking up the whole space around us as he hovers over us. “That has to hurt.”
“Which is why I’m taking it off,” I snap at him, and to my surprise, he sits on the side of the bed with such a look of helplessness. I hate seeing him like that, and that confuses me even more. I don’t know how to navigate this. It’s why I ran the way I did, why I stayed gone as soon as I learned I was pregnant. His opinion of me used to mean so much to me, and I hate that it still does.
What the hell did the time apart do?
Nothing. Not a damn thing.
But hurt all of us even more.
I watch as he reaches out but then pulls back. I’m about to encourage him to touch her, but Thatcher Orlov doesn’t need encouragement. He follows his gut feeling. His brows pull together as he slowly runs his fingers along Arwen’s spine. His touch is gentle, his hand shaking as he trails his fingertips over the rolls of her back. Even though it’s hard, I look up to watch as his brows unfurrow, his lips tip up, and tears flood his brown gaze. Burning shame suffocates me, and I don’t know how to handle the overwhelming feelings that threaten to snuff out every ember inside me.
My sweet Arwen settles almost immediately, and I don’t allow myself to sob the way I want. I have pictured this moment since I had her—Thatcher holding his daughter, caring for her—but before I could make it a reality, I was reminded of how angry he got. How deeply he cut me with his words and degraded me in front of the whole team.
I expected this reunion to be round two of that behavior, but it hasn’t been.
I expected him to lose his cool, start blaming me for ruining his life and demanding proof that Arwen was his. It was my biggest fear about seeing him again, about introducing him to Arwen, but he proved me wrong. He is known for running his damn mouth on the ice, and it carries off the ice, too. He is one of those guys who has to have the last word and can verbally stab anyone in ways they’d never expect. I had never been on the receiving end of his cutthroat words, but the moment I was, I ran.