Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Axel swallowed thickly. “Do you think she hates me?”
I shook my head, offering him a small, encouraging smile. “No. She could never hate you, Axel. She’s just hurting right now, but all of those open wounds inside of her are going to begin closing up and scabbing over. And eventually new skin is going to grow there that’s going to become stronger with time. And I firmly believe that she’ll want to see you as soon as she feels strong enough.”
Axel blew out a harsh breath. “What if it’s never?” he asked, fear coating his words.
I shook my head at him. “I love Julian with every fiber of my being,” I reminded Axel. He glanced at me over his shoulder before he put my eggs on my plate and began to put sausage links into the pan. “I never stopped loving him and craving for him, but every time Dr. Gresham asked me if I was ready to see him, I told him no.” Axel swung his wide, shocked eyes to mine as the sausage sizzled in the pan. “I told him no because I wasn’t strong enough for it, Axel. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him. It was because I wasn’t mentally ready for it.”
“Dr. Gresham always told us it was because he thought you weren’t ready for it,” Julian said as he stepped into the kitchen, obviously hearing part of what I said.
I turned to look at him, thankful he didn’t look hurt or angry. “Dr. Gresham knew it would hurt me more to know that you knew I wasn’t ready to see you. So, he covered for me. But I needed to grow strong on my own, and whenever I was with you, Julian, I leaned on you so much. It wasn’t healthy for me, and I feared that if I saw you—even a glimpse of you before I was ready—I would do it again, and all of the progress I made would have gone right into the trash.”
Julian gently pulled me up from my chair. Once I was standing, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me soft and slow. When he pulled back, he opened those beautiful blue eyes of his, locking them on my green ones. “My beautiful, brave, sweet woman,” he said softly. I shyly smiled up at him. “I don’t know anyone who is as strong and brave as you are, baby girl. It takes real strength to push away that comfort to grow strong on your own.”
I reached up to trail my fingers over his cheek. “I wanted to become strong for you—for both of you. I knew both you and Axel were waiting patiently for me to grow stronger, and I didn’t want to let you guys down. And through all of that, I managed to find my own strength.”
Julian kissed me again. “I will never stop being proud of you,” he told me honestly. My smile widened. “Every day, you show Axel and I just how fucking strong you are. Don’t ever stop healing and growing, baby girl.”
Axel set my plate of food on the table before he gently tugged me from Julian’s arms and pulled me into his own, leaning down to slant his lips across mine. His fingers dug into my hips as he coaxed my lips apart, drawing a moan from the back of my throat.
“Thank you for never giving up on her,” he told me when he pulled back.
I cupped his face in my hands. “I’ll never stop helping her, Axel. Just as you guys were there for me, I’m going to be there for her. She’s going to come home; I promise.”
* * *
✶ ✶ ✶
* * *
Alli was sitting on a bench outside in the garden when I finally found her. She was writing something in her notebook that I assumed was poetry, but she looked up when she heard me coming towards her. I smiled warmly at her. “I have something for you.”
Her eyes brightened when I pulled the stuffed dog from behind my back. Axel had given it to me to give to her right before I left, telling me it was a gift from her before he had left for college.
It was a reminder from him to her that he was always there for her.
Her eyes welled up with tears, and they slowly trickled down her cheeks as she slowly reached out and took the stuffed animal. “Axel sent this?” she asked me, her voice rough and scratchy with emotion.
I took a seat next to her. “He asked me to give it to you,” I told her. She sobbed. “He loves you, Alli. Your brother could never hate you.” I didn’t care how many times I had to repeat that to her. I would until she began believing it herself.