Total pages in book: 162
Estimated words: 154728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 774(@200wpm)___ 619(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 774(@200wpm)___ 619(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
I didn’t know what to do, what to say, so I just burst into tears.
And I couldn’t stop.
Kane looked at, horrified and shocked. He’d never seen me cry. I’d never cried. Not like this. I was bawling. Full body sobs, shaking, hiccupping, coughing, all of it.
“Jesus Christ, Chef,” Kane muttered as he pulled off to the shoulder.
“I d-didn’t realize h-how much I wanted her until today,” I swatted at the tears racing down my cheeks. “I have been so caught up in being h-heartbroken, in pining f-for you, in pretending I wasn’t pining for you, making s-spreadsheets, I d-distanced myself ff-rom her.” I rubbed my stomach and she kicked in response, making me cry harder.
“Chef, breathe,” Kane commanded, putting the car in park before unbuckling his seat belt and all but leaping out of the car.
My breath came in short pants, and I let out a snort that, thankfully, Kane didn’t hear. My door wrenched open and Kane reached over, unbuckled my seat belt then moved me to a sitting position so he could rest his hands on my thighs.
“Chef,” he repeated, more quietly this time.
“I didn’t think I wanted to be a mom,” I whispered. “But it w-wasn’t an option to get rid of it because we made her. Even after I thought y-you didn’t want her.”
Kane’s tender gaze made me want to hide my face in shame.
“I never wanted this.” I pointed to my stomach. “I didn’t think I was maternal. And then she didn’t move. Then I thought she’d died inside me, and it felt like my life was over. Now it’s real. She’s our baby. You’re here. And we could lose her.”
My vision spun at all the things that could happen between now and her birth. Between now and the day I died. Illnesses, accidents, murderers, space junk hurtling from the sky.
“Chef, we’re not going to lose her.” Kane gripped my neck.
I swiped my eyes with my forearm, meeting his gaze. “You can’t know that.”
“I fuckin’ can,” he snarled. “I will go to hell and back. I will make deals with shamans, witches, demons, angels. I will raze this world to ensure that we do not lose her. That, I will vow. Nothing will happen to either of my girls. Never.”
He was saying the words, but it felt like he was etching them into stone. Into blood.
Logically, I knew that Kane couldn’t practice what he promised. I was a woman of science. I didn’t believe in the supernatural.
But I believed in Kane.
“But you h-hate me,” I hiccupped.
The hand at my neck tightened. “Avery Hart,” he growled. “Open your fucking eyes.”
I hadn’t realized I’d squeezed them shut. Opening them, Kane’s gaze was boring into me.
“I do not hate you,” Kane rasped. He leaned forward to lay his lips on mine. “I was mad at you. I’m emotionally fucked-up with a shitty past. I felt abandoned. I lashed out. Because I love you. Because you are my lighthouse in a fuckin’ storm, and without you, I was nothin’ but rubble against rocks.” He rested his forehead on mine. “I do not hate you.” he ran his thumbs beneath my eyes. “You are mine. We have shit to work out, but it’s nothing compared to this.” He rested his hand on my stomach.
Baby Girl did somersaults underneath his palm.
He let out a laugh that sounded like it was mixed with a sob.
“This, the three of us, is my world,” he whispered.
I couldn’t stop crying. It was like a dam had broken, and I couldn’t plug it up.
“I’m sorry,” I sniffled. “I’m sorry I abandoned you. That I was so easy for Brax to fool. That I insulted what we had by giving up so easily. That’s my own past. I know it. And you were locked up. Alone…” I let out a wretched sob at the thought of it.
“Okay, Chef, we’re gonna pause the apologies.” Kane sprinkled my moist cheeks with kisses. “You don’t need to be getting worked up over this. We’re gonna get you home. We’re gonna shower, put you in my tee, then we’re gonna go to bed. You can cry if you want, that’s fine. But we’re gonna save the heartfelt conversations for later. We’ve got plenty of time for that.”
I tried to force my breathing to even. It felt like there was a beast inside of me, a hormonal, heartbroken beast. One I’d been repressing for years, and she had a lot of tears.
“You good to head out, Chef?” Kane asked me.
I sucked in a breath, trying to grasp on to the ice queen Avery Hart. I couldn’t find her.
“I’ll be fine,” I lied.
Kane stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes flitting around my face. Eventually, he leaned forward to kiss me delicately. Then he kissed my belly. Then he rearranged me so I was facing forward in the car and buckled my belt.