Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
“That’s fucking twisted. What’s wrong with your brain?”
“It’s true. Just sayin’.”
“Half my body is covered in scars. The ink just hides it. It’s not there to be cool.”
“Oh, boo hoo.” She waves her hand at me. “I think the only thing turning girls away is your shitty attitude.”
I blow out an exasperated breath. “I have a realistic attitude.”
“Call it what you want.”
I look down at my boots and the mask near my feet, staring up at me. “I did sort of meet someone,” I mumble.
She leans forward. “Okay. Now we’re getting somewhere. And? Give me the deets.”
“And she’s sweet. And so fucking beautiful,” I say wistfully. “She’s kinda fragile but tough, and I like that about her. And she’s wicked honest.” Just thinking about her is making me wish she was here with me in this hotel room with the jacuzzi tub in the corner and the view over the city.
“So what’s the problem?”
“She was abused when she was young, and I have a lot of pent-up fantasies, and it’s a big fucked-up mess in my head wondering how to handle her. And to top if off, she’s moving to New York soon, and I’ll probably never see her again. She’ll end up with some rich bohemian artist, and she’ll forget all about me.”
Tesla’s mouth hangs open. “Wow. You had to go all out with the dysfunction, huh?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You’re not helping.”
“All right, calm down. That’s all okay, Ty. So you just go slow with her. See her on weekends, it’s New York, not the moon. You can drive that in a few hours. What’s the big deal? Everyone’s messed up in some way or another.”
How true.
“It’s Holly Daniels,” I say under my breath.
Her eyes go wide, and she sucks in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Oh, fuck, Ty.” Her fingers brush across her lips as she eyes the mask. “And that? That’s the real problem, isn’t it?”
I nod, my hair falling down over my face. “Yeah.”
She nods and licks her burgundy-stained lips that match the tips of her nails. “Lots of men have date rape fantasies,” she says with a tinge of comfort and hope. “I’ve met a bunch of them.”
“I don’t have a rape fantasy, Tessie. I have a reaction fantasy. Fear being my top choice.”
“So…you like them to be scared?”
“I like to make them feel the gamut. But fear is my major kink.” I bury my face in my hands. “I can’t talk about this,” I mumble into my palms. She grabs my hands and pulls them away.
“I’m trying to help you. Can’t you see that?”
“Yeah. I do. But it’s a waste of time. Just leave. Please?” I plead. I don’t want to deal with any of this anymore.
“No. I’m not going to leave. I don’t care if we sit here all damn night. I have no better place to be. Do you?”
I don’t answer.
“I didn’t think so.”
She stands and crosses the room to the small refrigerator and takes out two bottles of water, sipping hers as she returns. I take the other from her and gulp half of it down. All this talking is making my voice even hoarser.
“You care about her, right?” she asks.
I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth. “Yeah. I fuckin’ do.”
“Then don’t go screwing strangers. It’s only going to make you feel worse. I’m going to guess she probably has feelings for you, too, and you’re just in denial about it like you are with everything else.”
I wish. “It’s complicated. Right now we’re just kinda friends.”
She squeezes my shoulder. “Sometimes that’s the best place to start.”
“Ya think?”
“I do.” She plays with the cap on her water for a few moments. “This fear thing, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, Ty. Everyone has fantasies, or fetishes, call them what you want. You might want to at least lose the mask, though. That’s creepy as fuck.”
“She was kidnapped, kept in a basement, starved, raped, and mentally fucked with, Tessie. I don’t think she’s gonna be up for role-playing just to feed my horny little dark side.”
She doesn’t even wince.
“Ya never know. One of the girls in this biz with me? She was molested when she was little and now she’s a nympho. She’ll fuck all damn day and night. Just the other day she—”
I put my hand up in disgust. “Okay, okay. Spare me the fucking details.”
She shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m just saying…just because Holly went through some bad shit doesn’t mean she has to be some kind of prude. She probably just wants to be treated like a normal woman and not tiptoed around.”
“I don’t think she wants to be fear-fucked. And I don’t want to do that to her. She’s been through enough.”
“Maybe let her decide what she wants? Don’t think for her, Ty. Talk to her, take it slow. Feel her out. There’s always a way to work through things if you want it bad enough.”