Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Our relationship was complicated. Something most people wouldn’t understand. Hell, even I don’t fully understand, and I’m not sure I ever will.
“I guess your brother must be very well off too,” Shira says. “What does he do during the holidays?”
I tense up. Not just because of our past, but because all I can think of is him alone in that giant mansion, in a losing battle against the demons of our past, the same demons he battled with as he hammered away at his head and sliced at his flesh that dark night.
About a week after Jonas and I left, Nell caught me up on the events that had transpired. The cops found Simon, and he somehow managed to convince them he was fine. Can’t help but wonder if money was involved in that too. Nell assures me he’s doing much better now. I can only hope it’s true. Only thing I know for certain is how much better I’ve been since I left. Hard to tell if it was the burden I carried or the place itself that made life such a struggle, but I’ve noticed things don’t feel so heavy here with Jonas.
And it’s easier to be hopeful about the future.
My only regret is leaving Morgan and Forsyth to work the property on their own. From what I understand, it’s been a struggle for them to keep up with the workload. But they’re young, strong, bright men, and regardless of what Simon has planned for them, I’m sure they’ll find their way.
“My brother prefers his solitude,” I tell Shira. “I used to be that way too, until I met this one and he pulled me out of my shell.”
Jonas smirks, and everyone’s eyes light up like they caught a glimpse of that magic I’ve felt since I got to know him and discover how very special he is.
After dinner, our friends stick around to help us clean up before heading on their way. As lively as Charity managed to be while her boyfriend was over, she has to take a much-needed rest.
Later that night, Jonas and I get ready for bed, and when he finishes his shower, he joins me in the bed, curling up to me as I finish writing my journal entry about my day. It’s a pleasure I cherish every evening, appreciating now more than ever just how precious it is to have privacy and freedom to express my mind once again.
“Almost finished,” I say.
He kisses my shoulder. Then kisses it again, and as I sneak a glance at him, I decide the journal can wait until tomorrow. I tuck it in the nightstand and slip under the covers with my Jonas.
“You seemed a little shaken,” he says after a kiss, “when Shira brought up Simon.”
“It’s hard. It’s the holidays, and I don’t like thinking he’s all by himself in that house. I know after all he did, I shouldn’t even care, but I can’t help it. He’ll always be my brother, and I’ll always care about him. The same is true for Kieran. I hate them both, but I love them too. Multiple truths.”
“What?”
I snicker. “It’s what Madge says.”
Madge is my therapist. She’s the second therapist I’ve seen since the day I freed myself from the self-imposed hell I’d been living. The first therapist’s eyes kept popping when I said things that weren’t even the worst of it. Madge is much better. She lets me take my time. Doesn’t rush anything. And always offers a bit of insight that helps me understand myself a little better.
“Multiple truths means that more than one thing can be true. I can have horrible, nightmarish memories with someone, but also really lovely memories, and I don’t have to pretend one isn’t true. I can let those things coexist without trying to fit them all into a story that makes more sense.”
“I can see how that’d be helpful,” Jonas says.
“Helpful, yes, but I think it’ll be a long time before I can get my head around it all.”
“Well, as long as you know I’m here in whatever way you need me.”
I kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Jonas. But tonight, I just need you to fuck me.”
“Well, I did say whatever way you need me,” he replies with a wicked expression before he takes my mouth again. His arms pull around me, and I relax in his hold.
I feel safe here. With him.
With each kiss, each caress, I find myself more and more in the moment, and Simon, Hawthorne Heights, and Kieran slip out of my reach, taking their rightful place in my mind.
As my past.
Allowing me to embrace my future with Jonas.
THE END