Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 101796 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101796 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
“Just give me a minute, please? Sorry if I can’t let go of my fears just like that, just because you think I should.” When I reach him, I snap my fingers in front of his face. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“Fine. Pretend you weren’t deliberately taking your time because you’re scared.”
“Oh, fuck off.”
It feels good to say it out loud instead of only thinking it. When he laughs, I wish I had said it before now.
“Okay, now that you’re finally ready…” His gaze flicks over me, and his nostrils flare, and I can’t decide if I want to cover myself up or beg him to touch me. I think I smoked too much. “All we’re going to do is start off here, in the shallow end. You don’t have anything to worry about—I am not going to hurt you. You’re perfectly, totally safe.”
“It’s really easy to say that,” I murmur, looking down at the pool. Other people make it look so easy, don’t they? Why does everything have to be so damn hard for me?
“You’ll see it’s true once you’re in the water.” There are a few steps in the corner, which he now takes, holding onto a metal railing as he does. “You can hold on to this,” he reminds me. “That way, you don’t even have to worry about losing your balance or slipping. Couldn’t be any safer.”
“Sure it could be. I could stay here, safe and dry.”
“What’s the fun in that?” He still doesn’t seem to get it. Once he’s in the water, though, I see it doesn’t even come up to his chest. He holds out his hands. “I’ll stay here by the side so you can hold on to the edge. But you have to try. At least you can say you tried.”
I really wish he didn’t make sense. “Okay, fine.”
Really, there’s nothing to be all that worried about, right? All I have to do is hold on to the railing and take one step down at a time. The water is cold, but it feels good after spending all day with jeans covering my legs.
“See? You’re doing it.”
“Don’t patronize me,” I whisper, taking another step.
“Damn, you are impossible.”
“Shut up. Just let me get through this.” By the time I reach the bottom of the steps, the water is at my waist. He’s a little further away, so it comes up higher on him. “I think I’m comfortable here right now.”
“We have all day. There is no rush.”
He can’t actually care as much as he seems to. I literally cannot imagine why he would. Yet when I look at him, almost frozen by dread, he’s smiling. He’s really smiling, almost beaming.
“What?” I finally ask as my heart tries to burst out of my chest.
“I’m proud of you.”
“You don’t have to go overboard.” My face feels hot even though the water is so cool. Refreshing, really. I reach out to take hold of the concrete lip running around the pool and dash. It helps a lot. I could hop right out if I wanted to. I’m not trapped.
“News flash.” He’s grinning when he says, “I’m not going overboard. I really am proud of you. It’s not easy to face your fears, but you’re doing it.”
I’m still not convinced. “You’re just feeling smug because you talked me into doing this.”
“One of these days, you’re going to give me credit for something.” Whatever he says. I’m too busy convincing myself to stay in the pool to argue with him anymore.
“Well, I did it. I got in the water. Can I get out now?”
“You know you can’t. Let’s go a little further.” When he holds out his hand, I recoil before I can stop myself. “Seriously? Elliana…”
“This is a lot. You’re asking me to do a lot, all at once!”
“I am not going to hurt you.” He enunciates every word slowly, clearly, and I’m starting to see the temptation to drown another person because he is very drownable right now. “I’m trying to help you get over this and figure out how strong you are. That’s all it’s about. Now, for God’s sake, take my fucking hand, and let’s go a little deeper. Just a little bit, and you can hold on to the wall the whole time if it makes you feel better.”
With a heavy sigh, I reach out and take his hand. “Happy?” I mutter before gasping when the water rises the further I walk with him.
“You’re okay,” he reminds me with a light laugh. “It feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, once you get used to it.”
“Wow. It almost sounds like you agree with me. I’m not sure what to think.”
“Please, stop talking,” I whisper. I come to a stop once the water is over my boobs. “I don’t wanna go any further. I just want to stay here.”