Vampire in the Jungle Read Online Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Categories Genre: Fantasy/Sci-fi, Funny, Paranormal, Vampires Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 51
Estimated words: 48783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 244(@200wpm)___ 195(@250wpm)___ 163(@300wpm)
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Sure, some things would never change. There would always be taxes, stupid people—very good vampire eats—and not enough hours in the day to sew, read, and chase off creatures who urinated on one’s doorstep. But the world had changed a lot since Maxton had gone into hiding centuries ago. Cars, for example. Cars were cool. No more walking for hours or having to get on a horse. With a car you could just hop in and travel long distances or simply run to the store.

Oh, and snacks! Not that he ate solid food, but even he would be amazed by the selection at the store. Mini pizzas, tamales, cheese balls, chocolate-covered nuts and berries.

I think I’m hungry. The food in this village sucked. Roasted pigs and weird fruit. Bleh.

And what would Maxton think if he rode in a plane? Or went to an amusement park? Or Damien’s shop?

Christ, the mall! So many suits in every fabric and color imaginable! If Maxton would just give the world a chance, she could get to know him better. He could get to know her.

This instant attraction has to mean something. So did the fact that this vampire had survived the Great Explosion intact.

I wonder how. Had the Universe spared him for her? Was that why she felt so incredibly light-headed in his presence?

MF smiled politely as Maxton rambled on about a group of explorers who’d once wandered near his lair. They’d been looking for the Fountain of Youth.

“I tied them all to trees and made each watch as I dragged their intestines from their belly buttons. It was very entertaining.”

MF chuckled politely. “I’ll bet.” Please look at me. Please open your eyes. I’m way more interesting than your stupid torture stories. “You know what I think, Maxton? Not that we know each other well, but I think you’d really benefit from blowing this pop stand. There’s a whole new world outside this jungle, waiting for you. And if you wanted some company, you could, oh, I don’t know, consider starting your own family?”

“Family?”

“Yeah. You know? You, the master, plus an adorable female subordinate.” MF patted a pigtail. “Perhaps you’d like a few wayward love-sucking demons who enjoy traveling, too?”

“A coven? With pets? Never. I am a solitary creature.” He huffed.

“I just think if you took the time to—”

“This is where we must part ways.” He stopped and looked down his nose at her.

“Sorry?”

He pointed to a line of stones cutting across the path. “This is where my territory begins.”

“Oh.” She blinked. “Are you saying I’m not welcome?”

Suddenly, the ground shook. Wow. That’s a new vampire power. “Are you serious?”

“No one is permitted within the boundaries of my lair. Unless they wish to die. Do you wish to die, MF? Because I assure you it will be a violent, slow, and painful death.”

Her mouth flapped for a moment. How could he be so open and friendly one moment and then ice cold the next? “But I thought that—”

“You thought wrong. Now, I must make haste to my cave. The sunlight is draining my energy.” He bowed his head. “Goodbye, MF.”

She stood there, her mind spinning as she noticed the muscles working on his angular jaw, almost as if he were thinking about chewing something.

Me? Does he want to drink me? She didn’t get the impression it would be the fun kind of drinking either. He wanted to kill her.

The ground shook again.

MF shrank back, holding in her emotions, and walked away. She was never one to cry much. In fact, the last time she’d had a good gusher was after she lost her family to the vampire who turned her. He’d then abandoned her, leaving her alone to figure out what she was.

Sadistic fuck.

A month later, the Great Explosion had happened, and she had been human again. And lost. So lost. Everything she knew—her human life, her family, her humanity, and her vampirism—had been wiped out. She’d ended up on the streets, ready to give up, when Cimil had appeared with an offer.

“You work for the tailor. Help ease his mind so he leaves his shop and does some very important work for me. In return, Mountain Flower, I will see to it that your life is set back on course. A vampire. A purpose. A family.”

“You say you’re a powerful goddess, so bring back my parents instead. Give me back my old life,” MF had said.

“I am sorry, my bitter little cookie,” Cimil had replied, “but some things are beyond my control. Except on Wednesdays. And even then, there must be Twinkies. And naked clowns. I am afraid that day isn’t today.”

It actually had been Wednesday; however, MF immediately understood two things in that moment. One, the goddess wasn’t right in the head. And two, this would be a take-it-or-leave-it situation. Cimil had an agenda, and whatever she was offering wasn’t negotiable. So MF accepted to serve the tailor. All to become a vampire once again and find her destiny.


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