Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 91560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“I guess I didn’t. Sorry.” I cross my arms over myself, feeling defensive. In front of Wren, of all people.
“You know…” Her teeth graze her bottom lip, and I’m wondering if she’s so flushed because she’s hot or because she’s upset. “I’m here for you. You know that, don’t you? I want to be, anyway.”
“I know that.” God, get me out of this, it’s too much. The way she’s looking at me, the little tremble in her voice.
“You have been such an amazing friend to me, and I love you,” she whispers. “I hope you know that, too. I really do. You saved my life.”
When I can’t help but shake my head—it’s sort of an overwhelming thing to hear—she insists. “It’s true. But now I feel like there’s something happening between us, and I think I know what it is.”
Shit. No, there’s no way she can know what’s weighing heaviest on me, so heavy I can barely breathe. I’ve worked so hard to keep it a secret. “You do?”
Her eyes shine with emotion as her head bobs. “I don’t want you to hate me because I ended up with Briggs. I know it probably seems fucked up from the outside looking in, but it makes sense to my heart.” She places a hand on her chest, where the organ in question beats. “It just seems like when I got together with him, things started to get weird between you and me. I’m not trying to push you out of my life.”
“I get it.” Though now that we have started down this path, I’m kind of glad. The truth is, I have wondered more than once what she’s thinking. How she could want to be with somebody like him after the hell he put her through. “And I don’t hate you. Not even close. I mean, I have wondered,” I admit. “But everybody’s relationship is their own thing. Nobody understands when they’re looking in from the outside, like you said.”
“Look at me for a second.”
It’s only when she makes that plea that I realize I haven’t been. I’ve been deliberately looking anywhere but at her. The floor, the books behind her head. Math books, theory, and all the stuff that’s always gone over my head. I deliberately turn my gaze toward her, looking her in the eye while my soul shrivels. What does she want from me? I don’t know how much more I can take of this.
She looks so sad, and I feel terrible about it. She deserves a better friend than me, somebody who can be genuinely happy for her instead of pretending. “Why won’t you actually tell me what you’re feeling?” she whispers. Now, her eyebrows knit together over the bridge of her nose. “It’s like there’s this wall between us. What is really happening with you?”
If she only knew, but I can never tell her. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. “There’s just a lot on my mind right now. That’s all. It’s not about you.”
I didn’t mean it to come out harshly, but her pained wince tells me it did. With her lips pulled back from her teeth in a grimace, she murmurs, “Okay…”
“I’m glad you and Briggs are together,” I lie. It’s not difficult. I do it all the time. “I’m glad you’re happy. Really, that’s all that matters, right? What other people think doesn’t make a difference.”
“So you’re saying you disapprove, without actually coming out and saying it.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth,” I whisper fiercely. I need to chill, but it’s getting harder by the second. My heart is pounding in my ears, the pressure in my chest almost painful now. “But, yes, I have wondered how you can be with somebody who was trying to hurt you and humiliate you over and over again. He literally went out of his way to ruin your life until, all of a sudden, he cared. Am I not supposed to wonder about that?”
“You can wonder about it all you want.” Her shoulders lift defensively, hovering around her ears. “Did it never occur to you to come to me? To ask me how I’m feeling? Or were you just going to judge?”
This is all wrong. It’s only getting worse the longer it goes on. “I only care about you.”
“And I care about you.” Folding her arms, she blows out a sigh. “I’m sorry if I sounded defensive. You are the last person I ever want to alienate. I want you to know I’m here for you the way you were here for me. I don’t want you to go through things on your own. That’s all I was trying to say. I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way.”
When will this be over? I need it to be. It’s all too much after what happened with Tucker. I could tell her about it, but she doesn’t need my burdens. Nobody does. “I understand.”