Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 117820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
“How about now you suck on my dick?” I snap, feeling proud and strong. “And don’t ever speak to me again, not like that and not in any kinda way.”
“Psychotic cunt,” he yells, turning towards the building. “Such a fucking cunt.”
Ren winks at me. “You better hope I fix this car before that shit wears off or he’s coming for you.”
“Thought you said he’d changed? Doesn’t look like he’s changed at all, Ren.” I stuff the mace in my bag and hitch it up my shoulder.
“I said he’s not like that as a general statement. He’ll always be crazy when it comes to you, Immy.”
With a snort I walk towards the long road that leads into town. My hands are shaking and I don’t think it’s because of what I just did. It’s all for him. All of it. Only Kane has ever been able to make me tremble.
14 and a half
I took the beating, of course I took the beating. I didn’t stand up for myself. I certainly didn’t tell Mee-maw that the first boy I ever kissed was a black boy with such gentle hands.
I was drunk and I let him hold my waist as we kissed. It was a bit messy, but I liked it. He was a fast kisser, mind, and when I still think about it, it still makes me grin and squeal into my pillow with happiness.
Matthew was right, if I’m going to get a beating anyway, may as well be for something good.
Matthew hasn’t been grounded because they can’t keep him in. He didn’t get home until noon the next day and our Grandpa tried to give him the belt but Matthew ran before he could catch him.
I wish I could have been that brave. Maybe then I wouldn’t be stuck in my room like I am on such a nice day. If only I had the courage to sneak out and go to the lake with my friends.
Poppy messaged me for a little while this morning but she’s busy with my brother. They’re inseparable and so happy and in love. It’s crazy to me. They’re so good to each other.
Poppy’s mom said that you never forget your first love, but she said it in a way that sounded like they’d never be each other’s last love and that makes me sad. If they stay as happy as they are now, but forever, why would they ever break up?
Though I often remind Poppy that she wanted a rich man and my brother is as broke as a hobo.
She doesn’t care. She said if it meant being with my brother, she’d get a job. He’s looking for one too but in Faceless there’s absolutely nothing for kids our age. Leander is a bit bigger but it’s too far away and then there’s Burnet which is closer but that ain’t much different to Faceless.
At least I still have my paper route, though Mee-maw has been taking my money from that, telling me I need to save for a fancy college. Because a fancy college is where I’ll find myself a nice man. Maybe he’ll rescue me from this hell.
“Imogen!” Mee-maw calls through the door and I hear the key twist in the lock. She pokes her freshly cut head of hair through and smiles at me in that faux, saccharine way that she always does. “Could you be a dear and run to the grocery store? I’ve run out of eggs and my hip has flared up. And you know I’ve got that cake to make for—”
“No problem,” I interrupt. Desperate to get out of the house and stop listening to her ramble on about things I don’t care about.
“Good girl. Come and collect the money on your way out. Dress nicely now.”
I pull a face at her back and do what I’m told. I pull on a pink dress that’s getting too small in the chest. My breasts are so much bigger than they were last year.
I cringe at the frills on the long sleeves and yank at the armpit where it feels too tight.
I wish I could wear normal clothes, shorts and whatever else. I’m fourteen and a half, my clothes are what a five-year-old would wear.
Sighing, I slip on my socks, some clean panties and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I’ve lost weight, I’ve been bored in my room so I’ve been watching videos on how to fight and Mee-maw hasn’t let me have breakfast or snacks for about a week. It’s all part of my punishment for missing curfew. Though dinner I must attend because family dinners are important for a family dynamic and appearances. We often have guests for dinner.
Appearances mean everything to her.
“Mee-maw,” I say as I reach the bottom stair. “My clothes are getting too small.”