Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99921 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99921 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and nodded. “That’s good.”
There was a moment of awkward silence. It broke when we started to talk at the same time.
We exchanged hesitant smiles. “You go first,” I said.
“No, you. Please.”
I nodded and cleared my throat. “I’m sorry about the other day. Disappearing and all. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Her face softened. “It’s okay. I spoke to Porter, and he filled in the blanks. I know about the lake…about Evie.”
My jaw tightened.
Josie took my hand. “It must’ve been so hard on you when it happened. I’m sure you’ve been keeping a lot in for a long time. But I want you to know, I’m here if you want to talk about it. I was never a person who discussed my feelings either, but sometimes it really helps.”
Fuck. I should’ve had those shots before I came over. Here I was ready to rip her heart out, and she was trying to console me. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. But I needed to rip the Band-Aid off, even if it stung.
“Josie, listen…I think you should go back to New York.”
She blinked a few times. “You mean to stay?”
I nodded.
“By myself?”
I nodded again.
Her hand had been resting on my arm, but she pulled it back like she’d just realized she was touching a hot stove. “You’re serious right now?”
“I should’ve never let things go as far as they did. It’s not what I want.” The last few words tasted bitter, even as I said them. Probably because they were made of shit. I fucking wanted her. Yet I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
Her voice rose. “You’re sorry?”
“Look, Josie, you have every right to be upset. I—”
She cut me off. “Of course I have every right to be upset! I came here to heal, to find myself again. I wasn’t ready to start something new. When you pulled back after the weekend we went away, I was sad, but I figured it was for the best. I didn’t want to get even more attached if it wasn’t what you wanted. But then you sucked me back in. I trusted you.”
“I know.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let things go so far.”
Her eyes flitted around, like she was trying to absorb everything I’d just said and make sense of it. But it didn’t even make sense to me, and the words had come out of my mouth. Eventually her gaze met mine again. “Why?” she chirped.
“Why what?”
“Why isn’t what we have what you want? What about it don’t you like? What’s wrong with us? Or better yet, tell me what you do want.”
“I…I like not being tied down.”
Josie kept shaking her head. “Ridiculous.”
“I’ll finish whatever you need done in the house.”
She frowned. “No thanks.”
I didn’t know what else to say, so I thumbed toward my house. “I should go.”
“Yeah, you do that.”
The vulnerability in her eyes when she’d opened the door was gone now, shuttered over with anger and sadness.
“I hope we can be friends,” I said.
Josie opened the front door in response. I guess I should’ve been grateful she stopped shy of telling me not to let it hit me on the ass on the way out. She didn’t speak again until I was out on the porch.
“We can’t be friends. I don’t like cowards. Goodbye, Fox.”
CHAPTER 33
* * *
Pity Party
Josie
“Hey, Josie.”
I forced a smile and pushed my sunglasses farther up my nose. “Hi, Bernadette.”
The next day, I’d debated going to the grocery store to pick up a container of coffee instead of stopping by Rita’s when I realized I’d run out. Now I was kicking myself that I hadn’t.
She pointed behind her. “You heading to the Beanery?”
“I am.” She had a brown apron tied around her waist, so I figured she was working at her sister’s place. “Are you helping Rita out today?”
“I opened for her. She’s the class mom at her kids’ school and went for some bake sale this morning. But she’s back now, so I’m going to Bettina’s for some lunch. You up for joining? Bettina made chicken pot pie, so there’s plenty.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I have a lot to do today.”
“Another time, then?”
“Sure.”
“Saw Fox last week when I went to pick up Opal from work. Her car was in the shop for new brakes.” Bernadette shook her head. “The woman drives for a month after hearing the sound of metal on metal, yet is surprised when she needs her rotors shaved down every time. Anyway, I went into the office because I was a few minutes early, and Fox was there. The man smiled at me. You know how long it’s been since I saw that man’s smile? I wasn’t sure he even had teeth anymore.”