Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105846 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105846 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
It’s tough, but I drag my eyes away as the Bridal Chorus ends, and Sheriff Pete passes Josie off to Clay. My sister pauses for a long moment before sighing heavily and putting her hand in Clay’s outstretched one.
He helps her step up onto the platform, and I turn Summer’s chair and back it up so she can watch their interaction from a spot where she can see their faces.
The fake officiant Breezy hired starts his speech as expected with a broad, warm sentiment of thanks for everyone being there, and then works his way into the details.
“Josie, do you take Clay to be your husband, to have and to hold, to love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”
Silence overwhelms us as Josie grits her teeth and swings her head to look at me.
I look anywhere but at her—the ground, the sky, to a bird that’s flying by, and then to Summer, whose smile has nearly eclipsed her entire face.
Please, Josie. Just say “I do.” I mentally chant as the seconds tick by, and I stare at my pink heels the whole time.
After an entire minute and throat clears from the officiant, Clay, and Bennett, Josie finally responds, “Fine. Yes. I do. Whatever.” It’s low and it’s agonized, but it’s enough to move this fake wedding along. Thank everything.
I have to suck my lips into my mouth to stop myself from laughing, but Eileen Martin doesn’t bother. I can hear her peals of squeals all the way from her spot in the back row.
“And do you, Clay, take Josie to be your wife, to have and to hold, to love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” he declares, his voice strong and steady and way louder than my sister’s. “I’ve done it before, and I’d do it again every damn day of my life.”
Uh-oh.
“Great.” The officiant’s smile is nervous, but it’s there. Surely he’s also starting to worry about the waves of anger emanating from Josie’s stern face. “Then how about the rings? Do we have rings?”
Bennett pulls the rings we got from Peggy Samuel’s pawn shop out of his pocket and hands them to Clay.
“Fantastic,” the officiant remarks. “We’ll do the rings with the exchanging of vows. Clay, why don’t you go first this time?”
Clay grabs Josie’s hand and squeezes it, ignoring completely her efforts to pull it away. “Josie Ellis, my heart, my soul, my life. I’ll always love you. I know we’ve been through a mountain range of ups and downs, and that I’ve made a mess of mistakes at every turn, but you are, unequivocally, the only woman for me.”
Okay, yikes, this isn’t a good start to the fake vows that aren’t supposed to be making waves. This is a freaking tsunami of a start if I’ve ever seen one.
“I always knew we’d renew our vows one day, but I also imagined you’d like me a little more than you do now while we were doing it.”
“Renew our vows? Clay, we’re divorced! There’s nothing to renew,” Josie interjects, the last inklings of her façade slipping.
The wheels are coming off a little here, so I step up and to the side, ready to pull the secret knife my sister might be carrying out of her hand if I have to.
One good thing—Summer’s glee is still written brightly across her tiny face, her eyes bouncing back and forth between Josie and Clay like a ping-pong ball that doesn’t want to miss a thing.
“Actually, Josie, we’re not divorced. Not officially.”
A resounding gasp from the crowd is the only thing that keeps me from hearing my own.
“What?” Josie yells. “What do you mean we’re not officially divorced?”
“I never signed the final paperwork,” Clay says, and I start to fear for his life. “You and I are still married, and you know what? I don’t regret it.”
“You…you didn’t sign the paperwork?” Josie’s voice is a dangerous screech that goes up in pitch to a level only dogs can hear at the end.
“No, woman. Because despite your constant yellin’, I still love you. So, I’d do it again!”
In the blink of an eye, Josie lunges, her hands going for Clay’s throat, her touch not loving.
I jump toward her, wrapping my arms around hers as they scrap for purchase on Clay’s vital organs. Bennett grabs him and pulls him back too, and Sheriff Pete and Breezy come running to help me when I start to lose control.
Half the town stays in their seats to laugh and watch the shitshow, and the other half files out, confident their obligation in this little favor is done.
Josie wriggles free from my hold with the strength of something superhuman and takes off at a run for CAFFEINE. I start to follow her, obviously, even though it likely means walking straight into my own homicide, but Breezy stops me with a soft and kind hand on my elbow.