Total pages in book: 218
Estimated words: 209489 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1047(@200wpm)___ 838(@250wpm)___ 698(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 209489 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1047(@200wpm)___ 838(@250wpm)___ 698(@300wpm)
Or the butthole’s library.
Or any place else that belonged to him.
And I was way too prideful to go downstairs and walk by them to sit outside.
Fine. Sitting right at the top, I filed a claim for my “lost” phone. It wouldn’t arrive tomorrow, but it would the day after.
I bit my lip, staring at the blank screen after I’d hung up.
I had no one to call. No one to worry about me. There were my students, maybe, but I couldn’t begin to imagine how mad or disappointed they had to be since I’d disappeared on them, but I didn’t want to worry about that right then.
Not when loneliness and a sense of bone-crushing disappointment settled on my soul. On my total existence. It was nothing new, but it hurt worse than ever.
Who would really care if something happened to me?
No one, that’s who. Nobody.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I squeezed my eyes closed.
Were things ever going to change? I had no idea. I could only hope, and that was all I had left to hold on to. Tears and being upset weren’t going to change shit. All I had was myself, after all.
Wiping at my face again with the sleeve of the sweater, I fanned myself and then stood up. Taking my time, I headed back downstairs. Selene and Alexander were in the exact same spot that they’d been in when I’d walked out.
I held the phone and credit card out toward her and gave her the best smile I could summon up, fucking grateful that I hadn’t actually cried. “Thank you.”
Her dark blonde eyebrows knitted together. “Do you need something else?”
“No, thank you,” I said. “I’m actually pretty tired and not… not feeling so good. I’m going to go lie down.”
I made sure not to look toward The Defender. No way, no how.
Selene glanced to the side, at her maybe-relative before focusing back on me, her expression troubled.
Figuring I could sneak back down for water later when the kitchen was empty, I said, “Well, thank you for everything, Selene. Good night.” I thought about it and glanced in Alex’s direction, focusing on his chest. My voice was flat as fuck. “I brought you one of those cookie cakes. It’s on the counter. Thank you for not letting me die.”
I didn’t wait for a response before I was out of there.
I headed up the stairs, stopping just at the doorway to the room and wiped at my face again. It wasn’t wet fortunately. He’d be able to smell if it was.
I was going to be on my own. What was new? Nothing, that’s what.
I wasn’t welcome? Okay. Fine. I closed the door and locked it.
I didn’t need him. I could owe everyone else a favor and money, but I wouldn’t add him to the list with that shitty-ass attitude. I had a lot to think about, a lot to decide on, but I was going to do it. I would rather live my life on my own terms than on someone else’s.
All he wanted to do was put a roof over my head? Fine.
Pulling the cover off the bed and a pillow too, I set it on the floor so I could use it after I brushed my teeth.
I was going to figure this out.
It would be complicated and hard, but that wasn’t anything new.
I could disappear again.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
I could put down “sleeping on the floor” on my list of shit to regret.
It had to have been the adrenaline, fear, and desperation that had made sleeping on the floor in the cell bearable. Because this time? Things that hadn’t hurt before, hurt now, and everything that had hurt before, hurt even more.
It probably didn’t help that when I did wake up, all I could think about was Grumpy Ass. His words. His attitude.
How had things gone wrong so fast?
Maybe they had never been great between us, but I’d thought….
It didn’t matter what I thought, did it?
What mattered were the facts: my existence annoyed him, and sooner or later, he was going to kick me to the curb. Maybe it would be a padded curb close by, but it was still a curb. That could be today, tomorrow, or weeks from now. Then what?
I would end up on my own one way or the other.
Promises were only worth something when there was trust between people.
Friendship didn’t equal trust.
I forced myself to get up, suppressing the groans that wanted out of my mouth as my body ached. I used the bathroom, brushed my teeth with my brand-new toothbrush and toothpaste, and stared at my hair in the mirror. I brushed it out and put it up into a nubby ponytail.
Keeping my chin up, I went downstairs and found Selene in the kitchen again seated at the table with a tablet in front of her that she was staring at intently. Her gaze lifted the second I walked in, and she gave me a faint smile, like she could tell something was off. “Morning.”