Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 144433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
But it is. "Maeve," I say softly. "It was your farm. Your home. Your place in the universe. If you go with me, as my wife, you won't be able to go home again."
She gazes up at me, her eyes shining and curiously wet. "Don't you get it? I don't care about farming. I don't care about cows, or who's sleeping with who back at Port. Not if you're gone. It's not my home. It's not home without you, Zhur."
CHAPTER
ONE HUNDRED TWENTY
MAEVE
I can't breathe. Here I am, pouring my heart out to Zhur and telling him all the reasons why this will work, and he's acting like I'm making a huge mistake. Am I? Does he not care for me, then? Am I reading things all wrong? Even if he's not in love with me, I figured it'd be all right. I can be obsessively in love with him and it'll be all right if it's not returned. We'll still be together, and married, and that'll be enough.
The “it'll be enough” thought carried me through the long, anxious flight here and through our arrival and questioning. Through dinners with Milly and her husband, the intense questioning from Ubagrrresh, and this awful, never-ending party, I've told myself that being at his side would be enough.
Now, though, I'm panicking. What if he doesn't want me there? What if it's all been a lie and he's glad to be rid of me? What if I've totally misread the situation? Zhur keeps frowning down at me as I talk, and the more he scowls, the more I wonder if everything has just been completely one-sided. What if—
"You and your ridiculous schemes," he growls.
And then he's kissing me, his mouth on mine, and I start crying for real. I sob against his mouth, my lips desperate on his. I don't care that we're among hundreds of strangers who think I'm a bug and he's a disaster. I don't care that I don't know where we're going from here. All I know is that I feel like I'm in the right place when he holds me close.
"I'm sorry," I whimper between kisses. "I'm sorry if you're mad. I just wanted to be with you."
"Hush," he murmurs. "Hush, Maeve. It's all right."
"I know I'm pushy. I just thought you might appreciate a buddy."
"Maeve—"
"If you don't want to be with me, we can be the first praxiian-human divorce—"
He growls, bearing his teeth as he glares down at me. "Will you let me speak?"
I snap my mouth shut, fighting the urge to cry a little harder. Why is this reunion nothing like I'd imagined it? I thought he'd be beside himself with joy, hugging and kissing me. He kissed me, sure, but he also looks like he wants to strangle me.
"Maeve," he says, his voice even in the way that tells me he's fighting very hard to be calm. "If you call me your buddy or your friend one more time, I will pack your tail back onto va'Rin's ship."
Oh.
"I don't want to be your buddy. I don't want to be your companion. Your friend. Either I'm your husband and you're my wife, or we're not doing this. I won't let you risk your life because you think we should just be friends." He practically growls the word like it's hated.
"Well I thought it might be bad timing to show up and declare myself madly in love with you," I blurt out. "I didn't want you to feel pressured—"
He puts a finger over my lips, silencing me again. "That is exactly what you should have done." A hint of a smile curves his cat mouth, and I start to relax, just a little. "And I should have told you how I feel."
"How do you feel?" I ask, my words muffled and jumbled against his finger.
"That you are mine. That I am fiercely glad that I marked your door and declared you as my mate. That if I must give up a dozen thrones to spend my time with you, I will gladly do so. That seeing you here fills me with such joy that I want to shout...and fills me with terror that you have put yourself in danger. That I want to kiss you all over and rub my face between your thighs until your toes curl." He leans in close. "And that I never want to hear the word 'buddy' ever again."
I grab his face and kiss him fiercely. "Deal."
He pulls me against him, our mouths locked, and for what feels like forever, there's nothing but Zhur's lips on mine, his tongue teasing and laying claim to me. I'm lost in his scent, in the soft white fur of his jowls that my fingers curl in. I've missed him so fucking much.
Something wet plops onto my forehead.
We break apart and I look up, just as more fat raindrops start falling. "Oh no. It's going to rain."