Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 108342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
“I have enough friends, Porsche. A few good ones, actually, but I don’t go around blabbin’ my business to everyone, and that makes some people think I’m antisocial. That’s not my problem. My business is just that—my business. I also mind mine just fine. I work. I read on occasion, especially things U.S. history related. I jog ’nd work out. I cook a little. I like to spend times outdoors, boatin’. I watch T.V. and go to movies. I like to drink beer and smoke a cigarette every now and again, but I’m tryna cut down.
“I love my job. All the hard work, heat and hours don’t mean a thing to me because I’m making my own bread and writing my own rules. I’m just a normal person who likes to be left the fuck alone is all, and I don’t think that’s wacky or too much to ask. I’m not apologizing for it, either. I understand in some eyes it makes me look strange, and has assisted in building your little case, but I can’t help it if people are scared of me ’cause of my physical appearance.” He raised his arms and let them fall to the table. “We don’t get to pick and choose our genetics. I look how I look. I act how I act. I am who I am.”
“But we can pick and choose how we use those attributes to our advantage.”
The food arrived and both of them immediately threw on forced smiles as the waitress placed down their plates. Everything looked and smelled so good. They went quiet as they surveyed their bounty. This was one of his favorite restaurants, but he only came on special occasions. He hoped she was special, and this was the right occasion.
While he ate in silence, he caught her staring at him and paused.
“You can see who people really are. I believe that. You were a good cop. Why did you leave the BPD?”
She hesitated in responding, then finally placed her fork down.
“I needed a change.”
“Check, please!” He waved his hand about, trying to get the attention of any of the waitstaff.
“Stop it! What are you doing?!” she hissed. “The food just got here and—”
“You’re lyin’ to me. Tell me the truth as to why you left or this interview, as you wanna call it, is over.”
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then nodded.
“Okay. I was deeply entrenched in the worst cases imaginable. I had the stomach for it, and the heart, too, but… there was a problem. I was friends with another lead detective from a different department. He and I had been cool for a couple of years at that point. I went to his retirement party, and there was a photo montage that they’d created from all of his time on the force. I looked at pictures of how he looked ten years prior, five years prior… one year prior… before he took that job. He looked as if he’d aged twenty years…” She shook her head, as if needing a moment. “He admitted to me some time ago that his wife of thirty-two years had divorced him because he was never home, and when he was, he carried the darkness he saw every day to her.
“His children moved away and barely spoke to him. He rarely got to see his grandchildren. He was alone. Miserable. His only family were the dead people he helped vindicate. The victims. His words, not mine.” Her eyes slightly glossed over. “Don’t take a clock to the graveyard. They don’t know the time, but we do, and time goes fast. Anyway, my colleague pulled me aside and praised me, told me how talented I was.
“He also told me that if I wanted a life, this wasn’t the job for me. That if I ever wanted to get married again and raise a family, this wasn’t what I needed to do. It would poison everything. It would rot my life from the inside out. I knew then that I had to make a choice. He tapped into what I already feared. That my concerns were not something that would just go away or subside. I was already five years in. I needed to use my experiences to help the public—that’s my calling—but in a different capacity. I didn’t want to end up like him. So, I needed to start over.”
“Thank you.” He stuck his fork in a fried oyster.
“Thank you for what?”
“The truth. I know you’ve seen a lot. I imagine it was pretty bad. You could never be attracted to a man who you believe is out here drowning people, slicin’ them up with a butcher knife and strangling them, right? If you think I could do somethin’ like that, like really in the depths of your soul, then you could never be attracted to me, now could ya? There’s nothing sexy about that…” Her eyes darkened as she stared at him. “Why are you attracted to me if you think I’m such a fuckin’ monster? Was your ex-husband like me?”