Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Her smile dimmed, and she set the gun down. “You don’t have to say that, Jasper. In fact, I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
“If I didn’t tell you the truth?”
“I don’t need you to be nice to me, Jasper. I don’t want or need your pity either.”
“Good because I don’t fucking do pity.” It was a useless emotion that led to bad decisions.
“Fine, say what you want. It’s not like I can stop you anyway, but I do know what this is and what it isn’t.”
“I’m starting to think you don’t know a goddamn thing.” The words came out with a growl as I grabbed the gun and went inside the cabin. The woman was determined to drive me crazy. Out of my fucking mind.
I was trying to tell her how I felt, which was a miracle in itself, and she thought she knew. I just figured it out myself, so how could she know?
She followed me to the armory, “I know more than you give me credit for, Jas.” Her bare feet stomped harder with every step. “I know you only show up for a fuck when you’re horny or having a bad day. I know you leave before the condom hits the bottom of the wastebasket. I know you’re hoping that this baby isn’t yours. So desperate for it not to be, you’ve probably even prayed about it.”
Her words hit me like a dozen jabs to the spine, but I didn’t explode. I didn’t turn around, march to her and shake some fucking sense into her pretty little head. That was what I wanted to do, but I had a plan, dammit.
“Nothing to say? Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She let out a disgruntled sigh, turning away from me just as I turned toward her. “Thanks for the lesson.”
Not this time. I reached out and snagged her arm before she could walk back through the door. “Like I said, you don’t know shit.”
“I know what I want in life and what I will accept, and it’s not your pity.”
“It’s not pity, dammit!” The words came out on a roar, but Mo didn’t even flinch. “You’re mine, Mo. As distasteful as you might find that, you are mine, so you better let that sit right with you really quick.”
She shook her head and yanked out of my hold. “No, I’m not yours, Jasper. For years that’s exactly what I wanted—to be yours. To have you love me the way I’ve loved you since the day I met you. But that’s not what this is. We were careless and I got pregnant, so we’re having a baby together. You can be involved as much or as little as you like, but I refuse to be with a man who only sees me as an employee on some days and nothing but a hot fuck on others. Even if it means a better life for my baby, I don’t want it, Jasper. I’m sorry, but I just don’t.”
Her fierce blue eyes were deadly serious. No hint of the playful Mo I was used to over the years. This time she was serious and protective—of her heart and our baby.
And I couldn’t really blame her, but I could make her see the truth. “We get along, and we’re sexually compatible. That’s more than most couples have, isn’t it?”
“I hope like hell that’s not true, but you know what, Jasper? Even if that’s all most relationships are built on, I’m not doing this to myself. I’m not going to live with you and share a bed with you and pretend to be some happy family.”
“Why the hell not? I can give you the best of everything.” Most women would jump at this chance, and I was sure Mo would have stabbed a few of those women to get to the front of the line.
“Because,” she sighed. “I’m in love with you, Jas, and this pretend life you want to have, it’ll only confuse things. I’ll fall deeper in love, and you’ll remind me that this arrangement isn’t about love. Then I’ll slowly die, day after day, because I’m in too deep, because you’ll be such a good father to our child, and then one day there won’t be anything of me left. Nothing.”
Shit. Even I could acknowledge how depressing that sounded, and I didn’t want to do that to Mo. It sounded like a terrible way to live.
Mo’s lips curled into a sad smile. “Thank you for offering, Jasper. If I didn’t have this baby to think about, I might have taken what you have to offer. But I have to set a better example for him or her.”
She rubbed her belly, and I felt an ache form behind my chest bone. It was a deep and pervasive ache, the kind that felt like it might grow deeper and burrow in with every passing day. It felt like if I didn’t recognize this uncomfortable feeling now, I might regret it forever. Fight harder, son. Don’t give up so fuckin’ easily. Finally, a piece of Colm’s advice might come in handy.