Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 132834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 664(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 664(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Winding the cord back on the vacuum, I went back downstairs, spotting the newly unrolled carpet in Nicky’s room. I plugged in the vacuum again. Might as well get this one done while I was here. I needed a few more minutes to myself.
I didn’t want to deal with Lydia. I didn’t want to find a lawyer. But ignoring her wasn’t working, and if she got difficult, I couldn’t handle her on my own. Everything inside me shied away from the idea of getting a lawyer. It wasn’t just the expense, though that was part of it. Lawyers were expensive. Good lawyers were very expensive. And Lydia would definitely get a very good lawyer.
I had a nice savings account. I’d been careful with the money from the sale of our house and belongings, as well as Oliver’s insurance and my salary here. If Nicky stayed at Laurel Country Day, the next step would be college, and I would need every penny for that. I was still paying off the last of my own college loans. I didn’t want Nicky to have to do the same, so I’d been saving since he was born.
After Oliver’s first accident, I’d learned that health insurance was great, but sometimes it didn’t save the day, and unexpected expenses could drown you. I liked having a cushion in the bank. My just-in-case money. A lawyer would chew through my nest egg and Nicky’s college fund in the blink of an eye. And for what? I didn’t know what Lydia wanted yet. Maybe she was going to make a move to get custody, and maybe she just wanted to see her grandson.
More than the money, if I responded to Lydia’s request to see Nicky by getting a lawyer, I knew this whole thing would escalate out of my control. Lydia had much deeper coffers than I did, and when it came to anything that had to do with Oliver, she was a little crazy. She was also used to getting her way. If I got a lawyer, she’d get a better one, and Lydia could keep me in court for years as I watched my resources draining away.
I sighed as I vacuumed. I didn’t want to be dealing with this, to be dealing with Lydia. My mother had suggested I talk to Harvey, and I could. Harvey liked me. I liked Harvey. We’d known each other my entire life. If I asked him for advice, he would give it, but he didn’t practice family law. He could write a threatening letter, or refer me to another lawyer, but he couldn’t represent me in this. And even if he did, Harvey wasn’t cheap.
I shoved the vacuum over the carpet, pissed off that Lydia was intruding here, tarnishing the sparkle of my new house, of my friends helping me make it a home. She’d tarnished enough of my life, enabling Oliver’s addiction until he was too far gone to save, threatening to take Nicky from me, trying to make me believe I was a bad mother.
I didn’t want her here. I didn’t want anything to do with her.
But what if I were overreacting? Maybe she just wanted to see him. Could I trust her enough for a visit?
It hit me with sudden clarity that this wasn’t just about Nicky. If it was, she’d have asked to see him long ago. She never would have written us off in the first place. I believed she wanted to see her grandson, but I knew it was about more. It was about winning, about proving me wrong. Back when Oliver had been drowning in his addiction, she’d been all about what a terrible wife and mother I was. If I’d loved him enough, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt, wouldn’t have been so lost in the pills.
If she could beat me, it would prove she was right and everything was my fault. And then there was Oliver. If Lydia dragged me into court, all of it would come out.
I’d told Finn about Oliver’s death. It still boggled my mind that of all the people in my life, I trusted Finn with the story I’d never wanted to tell. Of course, my mother knew how he’d died. I assumed Hawk knew, because Hawk knew everything, which meant Griffen probably knew. But none of them had ever mentioned it, so I could at least pretend no one knew. I could keep that ugly part of my past private.
I couldn’t stand the thought of it coming out, of it being public, of being defined by a past I hadn’t chosen, by a man who’d turned my life upside down, broken my heart, and ultimately left me and his son.
I liked being strong, capable, kick-ass Savannah Miles.
Being an object of pity? No. No fucking way. I’d felt pitiful enough when it was all happening. Now that Oliver was gone, I just wanted to move on. I wanted Lydia to leave me alone.