Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 138522 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138522 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
I reach the door and instead of going for my key, I rest my head on the wooden surface, willing my heart to calm the fuck down. This will work out. I’m falling in love. Hell, I am in love. I could say that. No. No, I can’t say that. Not now. It’ll feel poorly timed and fake. And that’s not the confession I have to make this time.
I’m overthinking. I never overthink. I inhale and decide to just fucking wing it. I open the door, and the minute I do, Abbie and Dexter are running toward me. I’m home. I’m so damn home and the minute they are both by my side, I pet Dexter and then drag Abbie to me. I don’t want to lose her. My intended confession is tossed aside for another. “I don’t ever want to come home and not have you two here to greet me ever again. Move in with me.”
Chapter eighty-three
Abbie
Abbie
I blink, stunned by Gabe’s words, not even sure I’ve heard him correctly. “What?”
“Move in with me. I’m not even going to try to pretend I ever want you to leave, Abbie.”
My head is spinning. My heart is racing. “Gabe, if this is about protecting me—”
“It’s not. I mean yes, I want to protect you, Abbie, but that’s one of a million things I want with you. I need you here. Dexter needs you here.”
I’m terrified he’ll regret this. I’m terrified he’ll hurt me when he does. “You’re a protector, Gabe. I don’t even think you know this about yourself, but you are. Let’s decide after this is over.”
“We have no idea when this will be over or even how to determine the meaning of over.”
Alarmed, I pull back to look at him. “What does that mean?”
“What if they don’t find the killer for six months? What if they never find the killer? When is it over? Move in with me, Abbie. Say yes. Be here with me.” Dexter barks his approval, feeding off of Gabe’s energy.
I want to say yes. I do. I want to just be with this man. I want it to be as perfect as it feels, but I’m terrified. This is moving so fast, too fast for me to protect myself. Too fast for him to know what he really wants. “Gabe—”
“This isn’t what you want.” His voice is taut, his body rippling with sudden tension. “That’s what this is.” He cuts his stare and then looks at me, the warmth in his eyes now gone. His look is flat. His tone flatter. “That’s what I needed to know.” He releases me. “That’s the way to put things into perspective.”
“No. No perspective. I just—Gabe. I don’t want you to—”
“End of conversation, Abbie.” He steps around me, and then he’s gone, walking away even as I try to catch his arm.
“Gabe.”
I rotate and so does Dexter. We find Gabe striding rapidly toward the bar, shrugging out of his suit jacket as he does, and I can almost feel him slipping away. I don’t want him to slip away. I hurry toward him and Dexter is right there by my side, a sweet, confident, but polite boy, who knows not to intrude, but needs to be close. I catch up with Gabe as he’s pouring a drink.
I don’t even hesitate. I’m around the bar and grabbing his arm in two seconds flat. He doesn’t even turn to face me. He fills his glass. “Please talk to me.”
“I’m drinking right now.”
“You aren’t giving me the chance to explain.”
“You explained just fine.”
“Obviously I didn’t or you wouldn’t be angry right now.”
He downs his drink and refills it. I grab the glass and take a big swig, the amber liquid burning a path down my throat, but still, Gabe doesn’t look at me. “I’m scared,” I admit. “You scare me.”
He looks down at me. “And I’m not worth that risk, the way you are to me. Check. Got it.”
“You know what I went through. You know how much I have to overcome.”
“And you have no idea what I went through and you never will.”
Anger flares wicked hot. “And there it is. The reason I’m so damn scared with you. You have secrets you never want me to know. Secrets some part of you has determined can’t be told. Telling me destroys us. You don’t trust me or us and yet you want to move in together? When you trust me, really trust me, then I’ll move in with you.” I set the glass down and turn away from him.
He catches my arm and suddenly he’s facing me, dragging me to him. “I told you, I need time.”
“And I respect that, but how do I move in with you now, Gabe? My God. Don’t you see how hard I’m falling for you? Don’t you see how easily you could hurt me? What if you never trust me? What if you never really believe in me or us?”