Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
It’s not as if I haven’t thought about it. It’s not as if I don’t fucking hate how shit is going down, but that’s life. We’re always thrown a curveball and you have to deal with it, and move on. Who the hell knows what the future holds? Maybe he’ll come back. Maybe we’ll realize we would have broken up anyway.
It all sounds logical as hell in my head but as I stand by the door, waiting for Hayden’s car to arrive, for the first time in my life, it feels like my heart is about to be ripped out of my chest. Like I’m doing the wrong thing. Like I’m being weak when I should be strong.
“You’re sure you’ve never been interested in moving to Chicago?” Hayden asks, and I smile.
“You better put a ring on my finger before you come at me with that shit,” I tease.
Hayden laughs but sobers quickly. “Seriously, though…there’s a part of me that’s excited. It feels like this could be the beginning of my life really coming together, but there’s the other part of me, who wants to lock myself in this condo with you and never leave.”
“Travis says I should tie you to the bed.”
“Ooh. That could be fun. Why didn’t we experiment with that kind of play?”
“Have time for a quickie?”
“I don’t think a quickie would be enough. Would just make me want more of you.”
He’s right with that one…and we’re both stalling, trying to pretend this isn’t about to happen.
“Just think of all the ass you’re gonna get in Chicago,” I say. “You just get up there and work it.”
“Work what?”
“That sweet Southern charm and the unassuming thing you do that drives all the boys crazy.”
He laughs. “I’d rather be working it here, with you.”
A silence stretches between us.
“I’m going to miss you.” Hayden pulls me into a hug. His hands clutch at the back of my shirt, knot into it as he squeezes me so damn tight, I think he might fuse us together.
“I’m going to miss you too, but it’s not like you won’t come back. Even if your mom didn’t live here, you wouldn’t be able to stay away from me.”
“Always so cocky,” he teases. He brushes his thumbs over my nipple piercings, through my shirt. Touches my face, my hair, my back, like he’s trying to engrave me into his memory.
My chest is so tight, it’s hard to breathe.
We talked about trying the long-distance thing, but both of us know that wouldn’t work. We’re not really built that way. We’re in or out. The distance makes it out.
“I don’t think I would have had the guts to do this without you. I think you should know that. With Lance…I didn’t realize I was slowly losing who I was. I didn’t believe in myself, but you made me want more, so thank you for that.”
My chest swells so much, it could explode. “Not sure I deserve that much credit. I mean, unless it’s because of my magic dick…and ass.”
He doesn’t laugh like I hoped he would. “Give yourself more credit.”
I nod, then say, “Com’ere.” Hayden comes easily. I put a finger under his chin, then grab onto his face and kiss him. I let his tongue play in my mouth before I explore his. My dick throbs, wanting to spill down his throat one more time but instead, we just taste each other.
When we pull away, Hayden says, “I’ll call you when I get there, okay?”
“Okay…be safe.…Have fun playing with all those numbers.”
He laughs, grabs his bag, and kisses me one last time before he turns and walks out the door.
33
Hayden
I sit behind my desk, typing away on my new computer.
Today will be the end of my third week at this job, and I can’t believe it’s almost been a month since I moved to Chicago. Since I said good-bye to my friends and Mom…and Cody.
It’s nice having a desk job. I don’t have to worry about customers complaining or barking down my throat about their orders. In fact, there’s not much interaction with people at all. And I’m not so sure that’s such a good thing.
I sit at my computer all day, keying in figures into spreadsheets and analyzing data.
Kinda sucks when I think that I miss the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. I like being on my feet and moving around.
I’m working on one of my first projects with the company when I hear, “Hayden.”
I turn my swivel chair and see Tiny behind me. “How’s it going, buddy?”
“I should be done with this by Monday.”
“That’s not what I meant. How you feeling about the job and Chicago? You like it? You plan on hitting Boystown tonight?”
“That’s what I should be doing, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It’s gonna be going crazy. A Friday night. A lot of cold, lonely boys looking for some action…”