Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
I wait for Travis to walk over, wait for him to tell me I need to drink some coffee or get some sleep because I haven’t gotten any in the twenty-four hours I’ve kept vigil in Doc’s room.
Footsteps move closer to me, then someone kneels in front of me. “I’m sorry it took so long. I got here as soon as I could.”
My eyes snap up and meet Hayden’s; he reaches out, brushes his fingers through my hair and somehow, that hole in my chest starts stitching itself up, just from being in the same room with him.
“You came,” I find myself saying. I knew he would. That’s who Hayden is, and even though I have friends here too, it’s not the same as feeling Hayden beside me.
“Of course, I came. Did you really think I wouldn’t?” He almost looks hurt by the thought.
“No…I knew you would…” Because he’s one of the good guys. He’s the kind of person who will stick by those he cares about, not just walk away.
I just didn’t know I needed him here so fucking badly. And I do…looking at him, I know I do. “I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life,” I admit. These aren’t words I said to Travis or Gary or anyone else. Just Hayden.
“Oh God. I’m so sorry, Cody. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” He wraps his arms around me, and I pull him between my legs. He’s kneeling on the floor, holding the back of my head and pressing soft kisses to my neck and for the first time since Doc collapsed in front of me, I can breathe again. “How is he?”
“They said he’ll be okay. It was touch and go for a little while. He had a major heart attack, but they said I got help in time. I had some aspirin, and I gave him one, which made the difference. He’s opened his eyes a few times, mumbled. He’s groggy as hell from all the medication but it’s almost like I don’t believe it, that he’s going to be okay, I mean.” What if they’re wrong?
“It’ll take more than a heart attack for Doc to leave you. He loves you too much.”
Those words are exactly what I need to hear. He couldn’t have said anything more perfect.
“Thank you…I can’t stop seeing it. Every fucking time I close my eyes, I see his face turn white, see his legs give out from under him—fuck.” I rub my eyes, trying to wipe the tears away before they fall.
“Hey.” Hayden leans back so he can look me in the eyes. “You don’t have to hide that from me. You’re always there for other people, always trying to help out while pretending you don’t really need anyone yourself. You play everything off like it’s not a big deal, like it’s all fun and games, but there’s so much more inside you. Let me see it, Cody.”
There isn’t a part of me that doesn’t know he’s right. If anyone else had said that, I would have laughed it off. I remember saying something similar to Travis when he had his head in his ass about Gary, but it’s a whole hell of a lot easier to give advice than it is to take your own.
But this is Hayden, and it’s like he takes the weight off my chest just by being here. He makes me feel like everything might be okay. Which is ridiculous and sappy and probably means I’m so fucking in love with him and need to quit pretending this is just a crush…that whatever happens will happen and we just need to move on.
So I close my eyes, breathe him in, and when my lids open again, I don’t try to stop the tears from falling. Hayden wipes them away, then kisses them away and yeah, there is no denying that I’m lost for this kid. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost him,” I admit.
“I know, Cody.” He kisses my temple. “I know, but you won’t okay? And I’m not leaving your side until he’s out of this place. I promise you. What do you need? Whatever you want, I’ll do.”
I answer as honestly as I can. “Right now? I just need you.”
“Well, you got that.” He sits on the small couch with me, wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. “Travis was about to come in when I got here. I told him to give me a minute. Do you want me to let him in now?”
“No…I’m good. I’m so fucking tired.”
“Then go to sleep. I’ll watch him.”
For the first time since I thought I was going to lose Doc, I close my eyes and go to sleep.
***
“Goddamn it! I’m all tangled up in this shit.”
My eyes jerk open at the sound of Doc’s voice. It’s still softer than it usually is, not the same bite to it, but it’s the least lethargic he’s sounded since before his heart attack.