Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
I wanted to worship every inch of her. Punish every inch of her.
My cock threatened to bust out of my fucking jeans.
“Are you going to stare at me, or fuck me, outlaw?” she purred.
I almost did it. Fuck, I even took a step forward before I caught myself.
She frowned when I stopped walking toward her.
“I’m not fucking you while you’re drunk,” I forced the words out, battling against my need, willing myself to go against my morals.
Her mouth opened in an ‘O’ of shock. I saw a flash of hurt cross her face before she quickly disguised it with fury.
That hurt look speared me in the fucking chest.
“Well, then get the fuck out of my apartment,” she told me calmly, not moving to pick up her clothes. She was obviously comfortable with her body. As she fucking should’ve been.
“This isn’t rejection, Sariah,” I told her. “I’ll fuck you drunk plenty. I just want the first time to be sober.”
“No,” her brows narrowed. “You don’t dictate the terms of when I have sex.”
“I’m trying to do the fuckin’ honorable thing.” I threw up my hands.
“Well, I want to be fucked by a dishonorable man, and you’ve just lost the chance at ever being inside me.”
I knew Sariah. I’d tried to learn her every expression, every cadence. And hearing her tone, seeing the ire in her eyes, I knew she was making a vow.
Though I ached to fight her, it was not the time.
I placed the water and the pills on the counter.
“This isn’t over,” I promised her.
“Yes, it is.”
CHAPTER
SIX
SARIAH
Colby and I didn’t speak until Violet’s wedding.
He was obviously seriously pissed off, and the feeling was mutual.
I was busy planning the wedding anyway, trying to keep everything from the blushing—literally, that bitch was always blushing when Elden was around—bride and trying to keep up with schoolwork. In addition to working my cameras. I’d been averaging about three hours of sleep a night, supplemented heavily with Adderall and caffeine.
Still, I was exhausted.
But the wedding was worth it.
To see Violet, walking down the aisle in the place that their future home would stand, seeing all of her family around her, and most importantly, seeing Elden’s expression of pure adoration and worship… Yeah, it made it all worth it.
I might have even shed a few tears.
Then I consumed a lot of drinks.
Unhealthy coping mechanism, I was aware. Maybe I was drinking in order to make it easier to break a promise. The one I’d made to myself and to Colby.
That we were over.
Even though we weren’t even anything to begin with.
It had hurt. Burned like a thousand sons of bitches when I’d stood there naked and he’d shot me down. Yes, I was drunk at the time, yet I refused to find anything admirable about his rejection. All I knew was that it made me feel hurt and somewhat like a whore and I didn’t like it.
Upon waking—with a headache thanks to being too stubborn to drink the water Colby left—I realized that he had actually done the right thing. I was more than consenting the night before, and I wouldn’t have woken up feeling taken advantage of, despite my past. But I would’ve woken up and blamed the entire thing on the booze and would’ve pushed Colby away. Whether or not he knew, that was the question. I was scared of the answer.
Therefore, I didn’t think about it.
I was really good at compartmentalizing.
I packed up my bags, called Violet for a quick goodbye then got the fuck out of Garnett, knowing I’d have to be back for the wedding I was planning and the birth of my bestie’s baby.
By then, hopefully the situation with Colby was controlled.
As it happened, I didn’t have the Colby situation under control. I’d spent the entire ceremony hot and uncomfortable, sure I could feel his gaze on me the entire time.
I supposed it could’ve just been because I looked good. Which I did. You weren’t supposed to outshine the bride on her wedding day, and I didn’t because that was impossible. Violet wore a dress that made her look like a goddess and was glowing with happiness and love. There was not a creature on this earth more beautiful than her.
I maybe came in a distant second. But even that was debatable with all of the club women dressed to the nines and their respective husbands all but drooling over them. This fucking town attracted gorgeous people.
At least I looked as if I were part of the club. My hair was tousled with braids and soft curls, wildflowers woven through the dark strands. My makeup was soft, sultry, the same tones of the burnt beige of my silk dress. My brown eyes looked wider, and my cheekbones looked more sculpted than normal. I’d learned to contour my larger than normal nose since it was going to be on my face my entire life, and going under the knife scared the shit out of me.