Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Colby’s head snapped up as I spoke, his hand squeezing mine even harder. I suspected the massive hands might’ve hurt if not for the drugs. As it was, the look in his eyes speared through me worse than any kind of physical pain.
“Ri,” he exhaled, the single syllable drenched in pain.
“In the flesh,” I said, continuing to try for the flippant attitude. I couldn’t handle the naked emotion on his face. I glanced down at my torso, covered by a gown and a sheet, but I knew what was underneath. “Mostly,” I added.
Colby’s brows narrowed. “I almost lost you.” He laid his lips to my hand.
The tender kiss made my insides twist painfully.
I tried to pull my hand back, but Colby held fast. As I’d expected him to.
His eyes blazed with unshed tears and unsaid vows.
“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”
The quote was from Harriet Beecher Stowe. I didn’t even know my mind had held onto it. But it was apt. Because that’s what Colby was doing. He was a man sitting by a hospital bed that may as well have been a grave.
“Don’t,” I whispered as he opened his mouth. “I know it might be customary for people, men in particular, to give big romantic speeches at the bedside of the woman who almost died, but we’re not going to do that.”
Colby’s lips pressed into a severe line. He looked like he might push me on it. Which is what these guys were known to do.
I wanted to hold up my palm to stop him, but he still held one of them in his hands, and the other wasn’t strong enough to lift from the bed. I knew that because I tried it. The best I could get was a wiggle of my fingers.
My weakness scared me. It reminded me of just how powerless I’d been against … him.
I bit back tears. No fucking way would I be crying about this. I couldn’t. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
I sucked in an unsteady breath and narrowed my eyes on Colby. “I also know you guys are all about claiming women, especially when they’re in some kind of danger. It’s like an aphrodisiac to you fuckers.”
“No, having a horrible fucking glimpse of what the world would be like without the woman I know is mine makes it so I’m not so goddamn patient anymore,” he gripped my hand tighter. “And it makes it my life mission not to have harm come to you again.”
“There is the speech, despite my efforts,” I sighed. “It must be physically impossible for you not to make deathbed vows.”
“First of all, you’re not on your fuckin’ deathbed,” Colby snapped. “Second of all, you need to stop joking about this shit. I watched your heartbeat stop. Stop, Ri. I saw the doctors giving you CPR.” Colby’s voice shook.
My chest burned. I was an exposed nerve right now, aching to lean into this. To tell Colby that he was the person I was thinking of during my whole ordeal. To let the story play out … the one where I let myself admit I was his, get out of the hospital, get together, live happily ever after.
Oh, I wanted that with a desperation I didn’t know I was capable of possessing. Before, I’d been fighting him off for some valid reasons, but mostly because I enjoyed it. Because I kind of liked the chase, liked playing games.
I cursed myself for being so immature.
Because now I’d never have my happily ever after. Not with Colby. Not now. Not after what happened to me. I was broken in a way I couldn’t even comprehend. All I knew for certain was there was no way I could stand to be loved, treasured, cherished.
There was no way I could say all of that out loud, though. Never. Because Colby would just take all of that as his eternal calling of proving to me that I was worthy and that we were meant to be together.
The simple thought of all the energy it would take to fight against him made me want to sink into the mattress never to return.
“I don’t … I can’t do this right now,” I told Colby honestly, my voice sounding pitiful. “I don’t have the strength to go into this right now, so I’m asking you to stop.”
Colby stared at me for a long time. I wanted to look away. I hated seeing the way he looked at me. Hated what that made me.
Colby’s posture relaxed a smidge.
“Okay, baby,” he murmured softly.
I didn’t relax. Not even a little.
But thankfully, I did lose consciousness.
The next day, I slept more than I was awake. Colby was by my side every time I woke up. He hadn’t changed his clothes or seemingly moved from the spot.