Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
I wasn’t off the hook, though. I wouldn’t be until I figured out a way to push Colby away—for good—or run from him.
CHAPTER
NINE
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I whispered, staring down at the scrunched-up face of the newborn baby.
“She is, isn’t she?” Violet’s smile was tired yet dazzling.
My best friend had given birth—without any drugs and at the club—less than a week ago, and she still looked absolutely gorgeous.
There were slight shadows under her eyes, but other than that, she had the whole new mother glow thing going on.
Then again, she had a husband who was constantly hovering in the background—just in case he needed to jump in front of a bullet for his two girls—and a mom who was in the kitchen, washing dishes from all the gourmet food she had made.
Macy had just left after dropping off a giant care package. Freya had done a few loads of laundry, folding and putting it all away before she left.
Caroline was on a coffee run.
The whole ‘it takes a village’ thing was really in play here.
You could feel it, smell it, taste the love in this room. It was sour on my tongue.
I was tarnishing it with all of my … wrongness. I couldn’t escape feeling it. . Because of the way people looked at me. With concern, with pain. With the knowledge of what I’d been through. Maybe only rudimentary knowledge, to be fair, because if they really knew what had happened, I wouldn’t be able to stand anyone looking at me.
Even holding this angelic, innocent baby seemed wrong. I shouldn’t have been touching her, corrupting her with what I was. But I couldn’t let that show. Couldn’t let anyone catch a glimpse of just how badly I was really doing. Then, out of love, they’d want to be there, want to help me recover. I couldn’t have them knowing there was no recovery for me.
“Your Aunty Sariah has the cutest Gucci booties for you,” I cooed, yet my voice sounded strange, hollow, superficial.
“Gucci booties, Sariah?” Violet repeated. “She’s gonna grow out of them in like a second.”
I smiled up at my best friend. The gesture was painful, like my cheeks were splitting open. “Then you and hubby better get started on baby number two.”
Violet blushed, as if she hadn’t just given birth. “As much as Willow is absolutely the center of my universe, I’m not anywhere near ready to push another human out of me. Especially when I’ve got a degree to finish and our house to design.”
Her eyes trekked over to Elden who was watching the scene from the barstools in the kitchen, Colby beside him. The two of them were meant to be talking amongst themselves, but they were both just staring at us in that intense, possessive way of theirs.
I leaned in to sniff Willow’s head, inhaling that perfect baby smell. I hated that it was corrupted with the scent of dried blood and my own vomit. For a second, I wasn’t in Violet and Elden’s little cottage that smelled like chicken and rosemary.
For a second, a long second, I was chained by the ankle in a warehouse, my blood chilling my skin as it left my body.
“Sariah?” Violet’s probing question jerked me out of my flashback.
Once again, I was with my friend, holding her newborn baby.
I struggled to paste on a smile, feeling revulsion at myself for thinking such despicable things while holding a baby.
As if on cue, Willow wriggled and let out a cry.
Babies could sense things. Like when they were in the presence of evil. And I was stained with it.
Elden practically launched off the barstool and was across the room before Violet could even lean forward.
“Got her,” he said, reaching down with his big hands, expertly taking the baby from my arms and cradling it against his chest.
Elden was a pretty grim motherfucker. Smoking hot with the rough beard liberally dotted with gray, intense blue eyes and huge muscles. But except for when he was around Violet, I’d never seen the fucker gentle. That was then he turned into a completely different person. He … melted.
And he did the same for his daughter.
It was also a pretty sight to see the big bad biker cradling his baby daughter.
Violet was ogling her husband unabashedly.
A genuine smile split my lips then, seeing the love between the three of them. The family that they’d become.
And I was an intruder, caught in a moment she didn’t belong in.
Suddenly, I felt like my skin was two sizes too small for my body.
I tried to push off the sofa and bolt, but I was still healing and moving a little slower these days.
Colby did a really good rendition of Elden’s earlier move, leaping off the barstool and crossing the space between us in the blink of an eye.