Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 422(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
I’d had a lot to drink the night before.
But I’d never drank enough to black out.
Though it couldn’t be called a black out when I still remembered the absolute worst of it.
The worst of it wasn’t the rape. No.
It was waking up the next morning feel sick, used and dirty. It was crawling out of that bed before he woke up, pulling on my clothes—the fabric stained my already dirtied skin—and sneaking out of there.
I did not wake the man that raped me. I didn’t rake my nails down his face, fight him, punish him like I should’ve done. No, I didn’t do any of the things I thought that I’d be capable of doing to someone that hurt me. I ran home, even smiling and waggling eyes at people I passed who knew me, who assumed I was just doing another walk of shame.
“This is not your fucking fault,” Ollie hissed.
She was furious. I’d never seen my friend so full of wrath. She’d tried to get me to go to the police. Then she’d tried to convince me to let her ruin his life virtually. She’d only relented when I broke down into a panic attack at the mere mention of such things.
“I go to parties,” I whisper. “I have sex with men and women. I drink a lot. I’m easy. I make it so—”
“No,” she interrupted sternly. “I hear where you’re going and I’m not going to fucking let you poison your mind like that.” Her hand slipped into mine. “You have the right to live your life exactly how you want. Fuck whoever you want. Put whatever you want in your body. Nothing that you’ve done or even will do makes this your fault.”
Then I was back on the roof, waiting for Colby to tell me whether he was responsible for murder or not.
It was a question I’d been stewing over for the past few months. I hadn’t exactly been in the calmest of headspaces when Violet had been arrested for fighting the guy who raped me. Actually, I’d been a hot mess. Not just because my friend had been in jail because of me, because I should’ve been the one in jail. I should’ve been the one who had to be pulled off the guy who violated me.
But it hadn’t been me. It had been my small, peaceful best friend.
So yeah, there had been a bunch of guilt and shame attached to that.
I’d learned afterward that Elden had come from New Mexico to bail out Violet, with Colby in tow.
No one had said anything to me about either of those men committing murder.
But I could put two and two together. He supposedly died from a drug overdose the day after Elden and Colby arrived... Witnessing what I’d witnessed with these men, even in this short time, had only strengthened my hunch.
“Yeah, I did,” Colby finally answered. He didn’t speak loudly, but he didn’t whisper either. Nor was there shame or guilt in his tone.
“Thank you,” I said as my fingers twitched, brushing against his.
His pinky curled into mine.
“You’re welcome,” he murmured.
We didn’t speak for the rest of the night. We just laid there, staring up at the sky.
And I didn’t feel alone at all.
“Hold it in two hands,” Javier instructed. “That one-handed shit is just for the movies.”
He was standing close to me, his body brushing up against mine. I knew that he didn’t technically need to stand that close. He was doing the thing that all men did when they were teaching women something, trying to get laid at the same time.
I understood that. And I didn’t hate it. Javier wasn’t being pushy, and he would stop if I was uncomfortable. He was just testing the waters. But my heart rate remained steady, and my panties remained dry.
“Hold it firm but not too tight,” he added.
I found my grip.
“Good,” he praised. “You need to line up your shot before you put your finger on the trigger—”
“What the fuck is going on?”
I whirled around to the source of the angry voice, the gun coming with me.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Colby cursed, striding forward and snatching the gun that I’d accidently pointed at him. “What the fuck?” he hissed, not at me but at Javier.
“Give me back the gun,” I demanded. “And if you want to know what’s going on, how about you ask me?”
Colby’s furious gaze found mine. “I’m asking the fuck who decided to give you a gun.”
“I asked for it, and I asked for the lessons,” I shot back. “Since I’m a grown woman and not a toddler and I’m assuming I’m still in an outlaw biker compound, I’m well within my rights to do so.”
Colby just looked at me, his jaw twitching.
“Leave,” he spoke to Javier, fury pulsating from that single word.
Javier, to his credit, didn’t immediately back down. He almost looked like he was going to fight Colby, which was impressive as hell since Colby was scary as fuck right then.