Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 54092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 270(@200wpm)___ 216(@250wpm)___ 180(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 270(@200wpm)___ 216(@250wpm)___ 180(@300wpm)
What did I do? Oh God. What did I do?
He strides toward the bookshelves and then stoops down. I watch through tears as he removes a wooden panel I never noticed and then reaches inside. A moment later he pulls out a lockbox and then a stack of journals. He reaches inside again, pulling out another stack.
All this time, they were right here. In the room I've spent most of my time in since I got here. The one place I never thought to look. The one place he hates to come. Of course he hid them here with the ghosts of his past.
He scoops everything up into his arms and then rises to his feet, walking silently toward me. He doesn't say a word as he places them on the sofa beside me.
I cry quietly, chanting I'm sorry over and over again.
"Take it, amore mio," he says. "Burn it all to the ground." He reaches out, touching my cheek. "You beautiful little liar."
I sob his name, pleading for forgiveness.
But it's already too late. He turns and walks aways.
My heart shatters in my chest.
I cry for hours, sobbing so hard I can't breathe. Daylight slowly slips away, shadows overtaking the room. Night falls. No one comes looking for me. No one intrudes. The house is completely silent. It's as if, for the first time since I arrived here, I'm truly alone.
I pray for Rafe to come back but he doesn't. For hours, I wait. And wait.
Eventually, I realize that he's not coming back. He's gone.
My hand lands on the books he left beside me. These could ruin him. They could destroy everything. Panic seizes me by the throat, stealing my breath. I gather everything up with shaking hands and stumble from the room. The house is dark. Silent.
"Hello?" my voice is raw, little more than a squeak.
No one answers.
I feel my way down the hall, stumbling into the walls as I go.
Somehow, I make it to the kitchen. Light floods the room when I elbow the switch on. I squeeze my eyes closed against it, my head pounding. My mouth is dry. Everything hurts. I feel worse now than I did when Carmine threw me into the wall. At least that pain was only physical and fleeting. This…well, this goes deeper than that. Half of my heart is missing.
Will it ever be whole again?
No. Not without Rafe it won't.
God, why didn't I tell him sooner? I should have told him when I realized he was already suffering. I knew then that I couldn't go through with it. That he didn't deserve to be dragged down like this. But I said nothing.
He isn't the monster here. I am.
I drop everything onto the island and start prowling through drawers, looking for what I need. I find the lighter hanging on the pantry door. The lighter fluid tucked away in the corner. Flinging the patio doors open, I carry both outside and then go back for the books.
He told me to burn it to the ground.
I will.
Every piece of evidence that can be used against him, I pile into the massive grill stored on the patio and then cover it with lighter fluid. The key to the lockbox is tucked between the pages of one of the registers. I don't look at what they contain. I don't need to know the details.
I know Rafe is a criminal. He's Mafioso, a Made man. I know he launders money and kills people and steals and God only knows what else. This is what is required of him. But I know that's not who he is.
We're all more than our mistakes and our worst moments. We're more than our failures and our misdeeds. We're more than our weak moments. We're more than a compilation of the things we've done. We're our hopes and our dreams and our best moments too. We're our strengths and our hearts and our courage. Rafe isn't perfect. But he's suffered enough in his life.
I was born into this world a principessa. Rafe made me a queen.
He might not claim me anymore, but I'm still his. If no one else is willing to fight for him, I will.
And I won't lose. Not to Genovese. Not to anyone. He may never forgive me. I don't deserve his forgiveness. But I will save him. No matter what it takes. I owe him that much.
I dump the lockbox into the grill and then set it aside before pouring lighter fluid over the contents. I soak it all, using every last drop of fluid. And then I set it ablaze.
It goes up with a whoosh, flames shooting into the air. The heat sears me, burning away a little of the chill that settled over me when Rafe walked away. I watch the fire until every last scrap of paper is reduced to ash…and then I go to find Diego.