Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 61563 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61563 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
“God, I know … it has to be rough.” I nod my head but my lips are pressed into a thin line without any words wanting to come and contribute to the conversation.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Closing my eyes, I shake my head even though I know she can’t see; a moment later I’m able to tell her no.
“Hey, it’s all going to be okay,” Kat says as if it’s a fact. “You know that, don’t you?”
A small breath of disbelief leaves me. “No, Kat.” I lay back on the bed and add, “No, I don’t know it’s going to be all right. It doesn’t feel like it will.”
“Stop it. Stop it right now.” Although her tone is harsh, the pain behind her words is undeniable. “Not everything in life is good, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a good life.”
I lick my dry lips and close my eyes, lying back farther on the bed and trying to absorb my friend’s advice.
“You have a great life, Jules. You really do.”
“I thought I was okay. I thought I’d be able to move on. I thought I was moving on.”
“You’re going to, Jules.”
My exhausted eyes stay shut tight, refusing to feel anymore and I hold my breath. “One day, probably sooner than you know it, it’s going to feel normal without him. It’s going to feel good without him. And there’s not a single thing wrong with that.”
“It doesn’t feel like it’s okay, though. It doesn’t feel like it’s all right to not be upset.”
“It doesn’t have to right now. You don’t have to do anything right now, except tell me you’re going to come to my house tomorrow night.”
A sniff is what she gets in response until I’m able to compose myself.
“Of course.”
“Good, now … are you all right?”
I answer her honestly. “I’m not, but I think I will be.”
“You definitely will be,” she says with such conviction, I believe her. My body feels lighter as I scoot closer to the edge of the bed, ready to do something.
“Do you want to go out for dinner?” I ask Kat.
Kat takes a deep breath on the other end of the line and I know she’s busy and can’t. That’s her I wish I could sigh. She’s always busy with work. “I can’t—”
“It’s fine,” I say, cutting her off. “I’ve got to get out of this house.” I speak while looking up at the coffered ceilings in the bedroom. This house has too many memories in it.
“You go out and get some fresh air, maybe get some shopping in and I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Nodding in agreement, I answer, “See you tomorrow.”
“Love you, Jules.” Kat’s voice is soft when she tells me she loves me.
“I love you too.” It’s so true. I’d crumble into a complete mess without her.
As I rise from the bed, it groans slightly and I look back to find it in disarray. I take the time to pull the sheets tight and lay the comforter just right. I even fluff the pillows and place them where they’re supposed to be.
As my feet pad against the old wooden floor, it creaks right where I know it should and that chill from earlier comes back to me. I look up at the balcony door and find it unlocked, which is odd. I swear I locked it.
Click. The sound is loud as I stare at the lock, my fingers still on the cold hard metal.
I never did like having a balcony in the bedroom. Jace told me it was a silly fear. I cross my arms, feeling unsteady and colder by the second. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, grabbing my phone and clutch then throw on a pair of faded blue jeans.
Unsteady is the feeling that’s most recognizable. I’m not sure where I go from here. Worse, I don’t know where I want to go.
All I know in this moment, with everything in me, is that I just want to get out of this house.
Mason
Ticktock.
It’s a bomb, not a clock.
Ticktock.
It’s about time to go off.
Ticktock.
Prepare for the shock.
Ticktock.
It’s the truth to unlock.
I stand facing the window in my father’s office with my hands behind my back and don’t bother turning around to greet him as the door opens. I watch as my cold gray eyes narrow in the reflection. The city traffic below is stirring with life, but it’s silent up here. So many people surround us, but not one of them can save me. Not one of them would even give a fuck.
Julia would. My sweetheart. Or at least she would have days ago before she realized she needed to get away from me.
“Mason,” my father says and I turn around, finally facing him and knowing I need to confront him along with everything else I’ve been running from. As much as I want to hold Jules close and pretend just being with her will make this right, I know it won’t.