Total pages in book: 222
Estimated words: 213974 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1070(@200wpm)___ 856(@250wpm)___ 713(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 213974 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1070(@200wpm)___ 856(@250wpm)___ 713(@300wpm)
“I would like to leave here,” I blurted, my mind fully waking up.
His eyes narrowed.
“You asked,” I said, struggling to keep the frustration from my voice. Getting out of the damn cage and seeing exactly where I was in the City of the Gods would be excellent. “I would like to see something other than this space.”
Kolis’s expression smoothed. “I assumed—never mind.” He cleared his throat and then gave me an uneven smile. “You would like to spend time with me.”
That wasn’t at all what I was suggesting. Like, not even remotely.
“I would like that, too.” He stepped back. “I will have breakfast sent in and give you time to ready yourself.”
As Kolis started to turn, what I had dreamt of Ash saying, or at least what I’d thought was a dream, came back to me. “Kolis?”
He’d made it just outside the cage before stopping. “Yes, so’lis?”
“I do have something I need to ask.”
He nodded for me to continue.
“What…what are you going to do about the embers inside me?” I pushed to my feet, curling my arms over my chest. “Kyn…he spoke to you the other day about the embers—”
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
“But I do.” I stepped forward, swallowing. “When you two spoke of them, you also talked about maintaining the balance. It didn’t sound like whatever was being done now would work forever.”
“It won’t.” His jaw tightened. “I will need to take the embers once you’ve begun your Ascension, but not a moment before then.” He inhaled, his chin lifting. “Then, I will Ascend you.”
My heart thudded heavily. He…he didn’t know I was already well on my way to Ascending, nor was he aware that he couldn’t just take the embers and then Ascend me. I wouldn’t survive. I wouldn’t even make it if I listened to my dream and told him that only Ash could Ascend me. But…
“Ascend me?” I whispered, catching up to that part. “You would turn me into what? A Revenant? An Ascended?”
“Revenants are not who they were before,” he said, his brows furrowing. “I have not been able to replicate what I did with your brother.”
Brother.
Ugh.
“But that is neither here nor there,” he continued. “You would not become a Revenant.”
“Then I would become an Ascended?”
He nodded.
What I had seen of that woman flashed before me—eyes pitch-black and full of hunger. “What I’ve seen of the Ascended doesn’t resemble anything mortal.”
“That’s because you haven’t seen many,” he answered. “The Ascended are who they were before.” He paused. “After a time.”
After a time? Well, that was reassuring.
“But, like I said, this is not something we need to concern ourselves with yet,” Kolis said. “Okay?”
I nodded absently, but I was very concerned with a whole lot of it. “But what happens after you…take the embers?”
“I will Ascend as the Primal of Life and Death,” he said. “But you already know that.”
“Yes, but what does that mean for the realms, other than…?”
“Ensuring loyalty from my Courts?”
In other words, killing anyone who didn’t agree. Which he could do, being a true Primal of Life and Death. He’d be able to Ascend a god to replace any Primal he slaughtered.
He eyed me for a moment. “Once I have Ascended and ensured the loyalty here in Iliseeum, I will do the same in the mortal realm.”
Taking that more active role he’d spoken of. I opened my mouth.
“No more questions,” he cut in. “I will return soon.”
I stayed quiet, watching him leave as three things occurred to me at once. I had no idea if I could be turned into an Ascended—that wasn’t something we’d asked of Holland or even knew. Knots of dread started to form, but I wouldn’t dwell on that because it wasn’t even possible. I would not allow myself to become a starved monster, no matter what.
The second thing was that while Kolis didn’t realize I was already entering my Ascension, Phanos had. He’d known that what his ceeren did for me wouldn’t last.
But most importantly, there was a reason Kolis was waiting for the last minute he didn’t realize had already come. Even though he wasn’t aware that only Ash could Ascend me, he still knew that I could die during the Ascension and sought to prevent that.
He will do anything to keep Sotoria alive—to keep you alive. Even release you to me…
I sucked in an unsteady breath as I backed up, sitting down.
That dream—those dreams—of Ash. They were just that. Something that occurred inside my mind.
But how could Kolis smell Ash on me then? It made no sense, but neither had the realness of the dreams.
Except I thought of the sticky dampness between my thighs when I’d first dreamt about Ash. The sex I’d had in that dream had felt real—
The sensation I’d had both times I’d dreamt of Ash returned. A memory.
Slowly, I looked at the canvas privacy screen. Canvas. In my mind, I saw the painting of my father. It had been kept hidden in my mother’s personal chambers, where only she could look upon it, but I knew she hadn’t done so often. It had been too painful for her. That was how much she missed my father. And I remembered wondering if they had been…mates of the heart.