Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
“Hi,” I said, and Cael nodded in greeting. He tipped his head to the side, as if observing me more. His jaw clenched and he wore a stormy expression on his handsome face.
I felt heat rise to my cheeks but was saved when Leo announced, “Okay, that’s everyone.” He smiled. “It’s time to say goodbye to your loved ones, guys.” Any warmth that had built in my face drained as I faced my parents and Ida. My heart immediately kicked into a sprint, so much so it made me lightheaded. I tried to focus on my breathing, on not breaking at the first challenge I faced.
Mama came straight forward and wrapped me in her arms, I hoped she didn’t feel me shaking. I could hear a hitch in her breathing and felt a few stray tears fall on my shoulder. I gripped on to her tighter and had to battle with myself to let go. “You are going to do amazing,” she said and ran her hand up and down my back in reassuring strokes.
I nodded, unable to find my voice. Mama stepped back and Daddy wrapped me up next. “You call us at any time, okay? We’re only a phone call away.” I nodded, and he reared back, meeting my eyes. My bottom lip trembled, and by the sadness engulfing his face, I knew he had seen it. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie. This will be so good for you. I just know it.” He coughed and pointed upward. It took him a few moments to speak. “And she’ll be watching you. She’ll be with you every step of the way, carrying you through.” His words, although kind, were a sucker punch to the chest.
“Yeah,” I whispered, holding myself together. I wouldn’t fall apart. I had to do this. I had to.
“My turn!” A single laugh broke through the darkness of my anxiety as Ida wrapped her arms around me in an almost-suffocating hug. “I love you,” she said simply. I felt those words down to my bones. I was doing this for her. I was doing this for all of my family.
“I love you too,” I replied, sounding much more confident than I felt. When Ida withdrew, she was smiling at me, dimples popping. “I’m so proud of you.” I nodded, unable to speak. “Call and text me. I want to know everything, every single step of the way. And photos! Lots of photos please!”
“I will.” I stepped back, and each footstep felt like my feet were made from granite. I really didn’t want to go. Everything within me was screaming for me to refuse, to board the flight back to Georgia and return to my normal life. But I knew my normal existence wasn’t good for me. And as I took one last glance at my mama and daddy, at my sister, and the tears building in their eyes, I knew I had to be better for them.
I had to be better for me.
Picking up my carry-on, I joined Mia and Leo. Most of the others had already said goodbye to their families. When I looked up, Cael shrugged off his father’s hand on his shoulder rather aggressively and walked away from his parents, a severe look on his face, not even giving them a goodbye. He came to a stop next to me, body stiff and mood dark. But I felt his body warmth like I was beside a furnace. On my other side was Dylan.
“You ready, Savannah?” Dylan asked.
I shrugged, and Dylan nudged me affectionately, trying to be a comfort. “Let’s see if they can help us, huh?” Despite his playful tone, I caught the flicker of despair in his voice, and his infectious smile lost some of its splendor.
As I glanced at my family once more, my heart began to race, and the anxiety I had fought back barreled into me at full force, knocking the air from my lungs. My body jerked, and my hand immediately went to my chest. I gasped, trying to find some much-needed oxygen. My hands shook terribly, and I felt a bead of sweat build on my forehead.
“Savannah?” Mia came to stand before me, and I saw Mama and Ida step forward in my periphery. I breathed in through my nose. I turned to my sister and Mama, caught the worry on their faces, but held out my hand to halt them. They immediately stopped, and I cast them a watery smile.
I had to do this on my own.
“Savannah, can you talk?” Mia pushed, gentle concern lacing her question. Ringing had begun in my ears, keeping me locked in my panic, but after a few measured breaths, the ringing slowly faded, and the overwhelming sound of the airport came crashing in like a sensorial tidal wave.
I faced Mia and nodded. My body felt weak, and exhaustion quickly set in—as it did with every anxiety attack I’d ever had. My nerves were wrought.