Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Lili, the third girl on the trip, leaned over her seat and joined the conversation. Savannah politely smiled as Jade and Lili laughed. Savannah didn’t laugh. Her arms were locked around her waist, and I noticed the sleeves of her shirt pulled down over her palms as if it gave her some kind of comfort, protected her somehow.
I tipped my head to the side as I studied her. I’d never seen anyone have a panic attack before. Never seen something so emotionally disabling come over someone so suddenly. Savannah had blanched, then begun to shake, body jumping as she fought for breath. Her blue eyes had widened with fear, and her lips had paled.
Usually I didn’t feel anything but pissed. Hadn’t in so long. Wasn’t affected by movies, books, or personal stories—no matter how tragic. Hell, even my mom crying daily and my dad trying to comfort her still didn’t break through the impenetrable walls that now encased my heart. But seeing the petite dark blond with wide blue eyes fighting for breath in the middle of JFK was the first time some kind of emotion had snuck in.
For a moment, a brief moment, I had actually felt something.
As if feeling my stare, Savannah took her gaze from the planes taking off outside and turned my way. Red immediately burst onto her cheeks under my attention, and that same pull inside of my chest yanked again. Then Dylan returned from wherever he’d been, and he dropped down beside her. He passed her a bag of chips. The small smile she gave him, this time, made me tense. Savannah … she was stunning. There were no bones about it. She was beautiful, but if it was even possible, she seemed more closed off than me. The quietest of the group by far, and that was saying something. Dylan leaned in and said something to her I couldn’t hear, and she huffed out an amused laugh.
I felt another pull in my heart. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to feel again. I had grown used to the fire. Preferred it to those agonizing early days after Cill …
Travis sat down beside me, breaking me from the spiral I was about to go down. I looked over to the redhead, thick, black-framed glasses sitting on a pale face full of freckles. “You want one?” he said and held out a box of Twizzlers.
“No,” I said sharply and looked back to Savannah again. Dylan was still talking to her. She simply replied with nods and kind smiles.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Travis cleared his throat. “So, no hockey this year?” I froze, his question as effective as a bucket of kerosene being thrown over my head. I turned to the boy about my age and felt fire swarm through my veins, hot and potent. It took me a moment to realize that everyone in our group was looking our way. I saw Savannah and Dylan watching us, Lili and Jade beside them, waiting for my answer.
“I don’t talk about hockey,” I replied, even more sharply this time. I glared at Travis, making damn sure he didn’t continue with this line of questioning, but he just nodded like my answer wasn’t laced with a threat to not continue down this road. In fact, he didn’t seem affected by my shitty attitude at all. And he was clearly a hockey fan.
Great. Just what I needed. Someone who knew my past.
Travis took another bite of his Twizzlers and casually said, “I like data.” He pointed at himself. “Math nerd.” He ignored my dark expression. “Sports makes for some of the best data.” He shrugged. “I watched some of your junior hockey games while gathering it. I recognized your face the minute I saw you, and your name, of course.” A flicker of sympathy filled his brown eyes and I saw it—he knew why I was here. If he followed hockey, if he followed my stats, maybe Harvard’s stats too, then he would know.
That was the part I could never escape from now. What happened to Cill … it had been huge news in the sports world. In the hockey world, it was the biggest shock in recent years. The biggest tragedy.
But in my personal world … it was Armageddon.
I jumped up from my seat, cutting him off before he could say anything else. I felt the group’s eyes on me as I did, could feel the same pity directed at me, the same way they had looked toward Savannah earlier. Spotting a coffee shop, I beelined for the long line. My fists were clenched at my side and I fought not to plow my fist through the nearest wall.
An addictive scent of almonds and cherries suddenly swarmed around me. When I turned to look behind me, Savannah was there, right behind me. Her wide blue eyes were focused on me. She had a blush to her cheeks again. My chest tightened, threatening to feel something, but I pushed it away. I couldn’t deal with feeling anything right now. Not after being reminded of my bro—