Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
“I want this to work,” Travis said and pointed to us all. “I want this trip to work so badly, because I can’t keep living with this darkness I carry inside, with this weight on my chest. Some days I can’t get out of bed because the grief is so tiring. It feels like I can’t breathe.”
“You miss being happy, feeling happiness,” Dylan said in understanding, and Travis nodded. “Me too,” Dylan confessed.
“Me too,” Jade said, followed by Lili.
“Me too,” Savannah said, almost inaudibly. My heart was beating so fast at how much we were all sharing that I thought it would burst right out of my chest. But I allowed myself to think of my life before. Because there was a before and after when it came to grief.
I allowed myself to think back to winters on the pond playing hockey, Christmas mornings and game days … simple memories from when we were truly happy.
I knew happiness then. And I had taken it for granted. But it made me think that if I’d felt it once, maybe, just maybe, I could perhaps feel it again.
“Me too,” I finally whispered, the wood from the fire crackling loudly as I did so, drowning out that wish that took so much energy for me to cast out. But Savannah had heard me. And she leaned against me and put her head on my shoulder, two squeezes to my hand.
I was starting to crave this feeling. Because Savannah, from Blossom Grove, Georgia, made me feel. After a year of drowning in darkness, Savannah made me feel something I thought was forever lost to me—hope.
She made me hopeful that there was more to my life than this. I didn’t know what was happening between us. I refused to let myself overthink whatever was binding us together. For once, I wanted to just let the universe take the reins and guide me.
I cast my eyes over the lake and the peaks one last time before we went to bed. I would forever remember the English Lake District as the place where Savannah entered my life. I had no idea what would happen on the rest of the trip, what would happen to me. No idea what Savannah and I would become. I didn’t know if what Mia and Leo had planned for us would truly drag me out of this infinite darkness I was stuck inside. But one of the many bricks that had built a wall around my heart had fallen because of this girl. Just one solitary brick, but it was a start.
It was a start.
And that had to count for something.
Resurfaced Dreams and Frozen Smiles
Savannah,
As I sit here writing in this journal, I am watching you outside in our yard. You are sitting under the apple tree and reading. Ida is practicing her dancing to the side of you. And I am smiling so wide just watching my two best friends. One loud, one quiet, but both perfect in my eyes.
When I am gone, I will keep this memory playing on a loop inside my head. And when I look down and glance down upon you, I will still cherish the bond we all share.
I want you to cherish one another for the rest of your lives. Never lose that bond that we held so tightly in life. And when you hold one another, know that my spirit will be holding you both too. I will always be beside you. Whatever journey your life takes you on, have courage and confidence, as I will always be there beside you. You will never be alone again. Just like I have never been alone in this life. How could I be with you in my life and heart?
Say yes to new adventures, Savannah. They may just lead you to happiness.
Always Forever,
Poppy
* * *
Savannah
Oslo, Norway
ME:
Can you guess where I am?
I took a picture of the view before me and pressed send. It was only seconds later when a message came back.
RUNE:
I recognize that place.
Then he added: How is it going?
I watched the people milling about below in the square, a large ice rink taking up most of my view. There were already people skating. It was beautiful here. We had only landed in Oslo last night, but I was already in love with the place. I could imagine the Kristiansens living here. At that thought, a wave of sadness crashed over me.
ME:
She would have loved to see this. Your home country. It’s so beautiful.
Poppy often talked of visiting Oslo with Rune … but life had other plans for her before she could.
It took a few minutes for Rune to reply. I wondered if he was busy or whether my words had made him sad.
RUNE:
She would have.
Three dots appeared underneath, and he added: I believe she’s with you now. I blinked away the sheen of tears that built in my eyes.