Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
The night drew on, and I held tightly to Cael, mesmerized. I didn’t know if it was the high emotion of the day, the spirituality I could feel swirling in every inch of air, but I felt changed somehow. This was how Poppy must have felt, I thought, not for the first time. And experiencing the peace she lived with in her steadfast faith filled another part of the pit that sat in my heart. It’s why she wasn’t scared. I couldn’t have been more thankful that she had that faith, to help her face death with such bravery and grace.
Cael pressed a kiss on my head, and I tipped my chin to see him. He turned his attention from the chanting holy men to me. Our gazes caught and something deeper burrowed within them. I couldn’t explain it. It was just … more. Some soul-level blessing that he brought to my life coming alive between us. Goose bumps broke out all over my body. But not from fear. From rightness. Like the universe I studied and adored so much was screaming at me that he was mine, and I was his.
I knew Cael was my forever. Maybe it was Poppy sending that confirmation to me. I didn’t want to live one more day where he didn’t know how truly loved and cherished he was.
I wanted to give him all of me. If losing Poppy had taught me anything, it was that time is fleeting. I no longer wanted to wait a single minute to show him how loved he was. So I curled into his side and counted down the seconds until we could be alone.
* * *
Once I was back in my room, I waited impatiently for Leo and Mia to do their final checks. When they had said their goodnights and gone to their own rooms, I got to my feet. I knew I was disobeying their rules and breaking their trust with what I had planned to do, but I needed Cael. That was the only way I could explain it. I wanted to show him all my love, and in my heart, I felt that was worth the risk of being caught.
I had just reached the door when a soft, almost-nothing knock sounded on the other side. Confused at who that could be, I opened the door, only to find Cael on the other side. He was busy searching the hallway, clearly making sure he hadn’t been seen, when he met my eyes. He swallowed, looking beautifully nervous. He opened his mouth to speak, when I took his hand and guided him inside my room. I didn’t need an explanation for why he was here. I was feeling it too.
I shut the door silently, then turned to face him. When our eyes met, nerves trickled through my veins. Not bad nerves, but nerves that were set alight and pulsing with life. By the intensity in Cael’s eyes, I could see he wanted to be with me too. I watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat underneath the tattoos that tried to disguise his grief. But I saw the boy he was underneath. I had always been able to see who he truly was inside.
I took hold of Cael’s hand. “Sav …” he whispered, his deep voice filling the room with an unspoken question. I kissed his palm, then each of his fingers. His were shaking slightly. “Sav,” he said again, words evading him.
“I want this,” I said and closed the space between us. I brought my lips to his. Cael’s kiss was tentative, gentle, and so, so careful. He held me like I was fragile, a prized possession he couldn’t bear to part with. I felt that way about him too.
Without breaking from his lips, I slowly guided us to my bed. As we lay down, Cael lifted above me and met my eyes. He pushed my hair back from my face. “Are you sure?” he said, checking it was what I wanted.
“Yes,” I said, voice strong with conviction. But I swallowed some trepidation when I said, “I’ve … I’ve never done this before.”
His forehead pressed to mine. “Neither have I.” I burst with light, exhaling the last of any nervousness that lived in my heart.
“I love you,” I said and slowly lifted his shirt over his head.
“I love you too,” he said and reached into his jeans’ back pocket for his wallet. He took out protection, and I waited for more of my nerves to hit. But they didn’t come. My conviction held strong.
I was done with being scared of everything and anything, of not embracing life’s moments because of fear. Instead, I wanted to embrace love and all that it brought—the joy, the wonder, the headiness. I wanted Cael more than breathing, and I wanted to be with him in every way.