Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 409(@200wpm)___ 327(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Dammit. How long had she been holding on to this?
I tried not to let her words get to me, but, fuck, I wanted to know what the hell Cleo and Sylvia had said to Oakley.
“Yes, I did love Oakley once,” I admitted.
Sarah looked solemn as she processed that. “Then, why did Mom and Grandmother say that Oaky was pathetic for loving you? And that you used her to get to Mom? That Mom was the one you loved?”
The pain in my chest was only surpassed by the anger boiling inside me. How the hell was I going to sit here and look at my kid while pure rage for her dead mother was building in me? If Sarah had heard those things said to Oakley, what else had they said to her over the years? Had she been beaten down over what had happened with us for the past nine years?
Sarah reached over and put her hand on mine. “Dad, it’s okay. I’m eight years old. I can handle the truth.”
I wanted to laugh and cry. The truth wasn’t something I could tell her. The fact that I had never loved her mom. That I had gotten drunk and cheated on Oakley was also not something I ever wanted her to know.
“Your mom and Oakley were never close. You brought them together. They both loved you.”
“Oaky loves me. But …” She paused. “I loved Mom, and she … I don’t know if she loved me.”
I rubbed my hand over my chest to ease the agony shredding me from her words.
“Oh, sweetheart, your mom did love you. She loved you so much. She just had some problems that weren’t her fault. She needed medication, and when she didn’t take it, she acted different. That wasn’t her. It wasn’t who she wanted to be. But she loved you.”
Sarah gave me a sad smile. “I guess. But she didn’t love me like Oaky does. Or like you do.”
I reached over and pulled her into my arms. What I wished I could do to change her past. If I could have helped Sylvia be a better mom. Gotten through to her about how important it was to go to counseling and take her meds. That Sarah was only little once and needed her.
“Dad,” Sarah said against my arm.
I wasn’t able to let her go yet. “Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Oaky loves you too.”
I stilled, but said nothing. What the hell had Oakley said to Sarah? I should be angry. Pissed the fuck off. We weren’t going to upset Sarah anymore. No rocking her world and upsetting the balance of things.
“Not one time when Mom accused Oaky of loving you did she deny it. She always just listened. Let her rant. Oaky doesn’t like to lie. That’s how I know. I’ve known it for a long time now. I hate it when you’re mean to her. She’s been sad for long enough.”
I had to speak. I had to say something.
“Don’t you think she’s pretty?”
I swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, she’s pretty.”
Sarah leaned back and smiled up at me. “And she can cook, and she’s funny, and she’s smart. She can paint real good too.”
Was my kid trying to convince me to like Oakley or love her?
“Uh, yeah, I’m aware,” I replied slowly, being very careful in the strange, uncharted waters I was suddenly in.
Sarah held up her hands. “Well? Why can’t you love her? I love her. She’s really easy to love.”
I had to stop this—and possibly go take a few shots of tequila.
“Sarah, Oakley is your aunt. She’s here for you. Just like I am. We love you, and we want you to be safe and happy.”
Sarah tilted her head to the side, and she narrowed her eyes. In that moment, she reminded me of my mother. “I love both of you, and I want you both to be happy. So, love her already. Stop scowling at her. Treat her nice, like you’ve been doing since y’all came back the other day.”
Yep, I needed a fucking drink.
Thirty-Six
Oakley
Closing Sarah’s door quietly, I made my way to the stairs leading to the third floor.
Wilder had gotten a call right when it was time to put Sarah to bed. It had seemed serious, and I knew that meant there was word on the issue with Carda. I had fought the mix of emotions going through me as I tucked Sarah in and said her prayers with her. This could be it. I might be going home tomorrow. Wilder had said weeks, but it hadn’t been a full week yet, and I didn’t want this to end.
I had been preparing for this. What to say. How to convince Wilder not to end this. I wasn’t ready yet with my speech, but I had a basic plan. I just needed more time to work out the kinks. To make it sound smoother. More appealing.